..::+a MomeNt of ObsSesion+::..

2008-04-27T13:07:00.002+08:00

Its been such a long time since i last blogged.. doesnt sound too good. :( its was quite a dramatic starting of a new yr... trying out new post in company and gettin ready for my 2nd pregnancy..

yesh! i'm now in my 2nd trimester! yipee! the horrifying 1st 3 months are over.. was feeling so weak and lethargic almost every single day.. was even given a 4day MC! aww.. i am still feeling happy about having a 2nd one.. think i shall just stop at 2!

my friend, Chun.. is getting married! Chun, if u're readin this.. i'm so happy for u and ur hubby to be.. u havent really intro him to us yet! =) nevertheless, welcome to marriage life, where u will be sharing ur next half of life with... :)

gotta go.. Natasha is getting up from her nap soon!

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-01-01T00:24:00.001+08:00

2007-12-31T23:45:00.000+08:00

i finally got logged into my blog account! argh! have been trying for days to remember my passwordd.... well, it seems that perseverance do work out~

Natasha is already in bed, and she is already 1 yr old! =) how times flies.. last yr, ard this time.. we were busy with Nat's milk feed, her diaper change and all other stuffs which parents ought to do..

Last week, we celebrated Nat's 1st birthday with some of our close friends.. :) and i really appreciate everyone's attendance.. came for Nat's sake even though its so near to chrsitmas. ;) Nat enjoyed herself.. and i'm glad she did too.. Everyone loves her.. believed that she is the blessed one, cux she has been receiving so many favoured from everyone. :) even strangers love her.. keke, i'm proud to be her mummy.

although her birthday, Vincent and myself spent a bomb on it.. i guess, its worthwhile. she's our only darling, and i dun mind spending on her.. =) and i'm even more happy to hear that she look good in her dress, cux i went to 3 shopping centres to hunt for it! cux Polo Raplh is running out on her size! blame it on last min shopping..

the new yr is coming.. and i have not made any new yr resolution.. should i say..... that i dun made a list, cux i dun think i will adhere to it. :) i guess majority doesnt as well.. guess my ultimate goal is to provide the best for my family, my precious. :) 2008, i'm becoming a teacher, and i pray for wisdom and favour.. i pray that i will be a light to my students, even though they are little kids.. i believed they are the source of light to us adults..

In fact, adults should learn from children more.. cux they dun bear grudges, they dun remember pain~

anyway, Happy 2008! can see fireworks over at my place! impressed!

2007-10-10T22:25:00.000+08:00

i brought Natasha to the National Library today! i thought of bringing her to library about weeks ago, but hesistated cux i'm afriad of bringing Nat out alone.. i may need someone else if Natasha gets cranky..

but she behaved well. :) and i must say, she made friends todaY! there's this 18 month old toddler, Winnie.. Natasha loves her, she keeps patting her, keeps crawling towards her.. Natasha practically crawl the whole library.. hahaa, yes, i'm exagerrating.. but i know for sure, Natasha enjoyed herself today! =)

some pictures!

2007-09-26T14:24:00.000+08:00

Natasha is still asleep.. she has been waking up at 3am almost every night! wonder why. guess she must have taken too much afternoon naps! but mum in law is very nice.. she has been offering her help to take care of nat so that hubby and i can have good rest before we start off for work..

ok, i think natsaha is havin a bad dream now, she just cried in her sleep.. will be taking natasha to causeway point later, its time for her to explore ard. :)

work will be busy! very busy! and i guess i will have lesser quality time being able to spend with nat and hubby. nevertheless, i guess we would be havin a mini celebration for natasha's 1st birthday~

details yet to reveal.. hasnt got a chance to discuss with vincent as well.. alrighty, shall post another time.. =) took some good pictures for natasha. keke, will post when i have the time.. when i'm free..

2007-09-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

Hello Friends,

here are some updates about my precious darling.. :)
happy viewing!

2007-08-13T18:12:00.000+08:00

been a long time since i last blogged~

ok, some updates about my little girl...
life hasnt changed much, its still Natasha, natasha, natasha.. and i'm feeling good great to have her in my life all the time. :) she's growing mighty fast and strong, she's trying to cruise around now! and she gets so proud when we praise her, she got the proud face... we call it the 'Piggy Face' :) her incisors (tooth) finally spout out! :) i waited so long to have that tooth out! have her toothbrush and toothpaste ready! this little girl loves to eat Avocado and cod fish, sure know how to enjoy the glorious food~ glory to my pocket as well!

Natasha hair is also growing out! have been discovering all the little characteristics that make Natasha unique: fat toes, piggy face, hair that sticks up no matter how much it's brushed! hahaha! that should be funny!

work has been a bliss! :) i just got a pay rise and its so much more than expected.. i'm greatful to God that he bless me so much more in abundance! :) call me the highly favoured one!

had gone into a fetish to baking again... much thanks to my sister.. she has grown into a baker lover! messaging me when she has an idea or her success bake story~ i think we can open up a bakery shop next time! :) provided we have the capitol..

Hubby has been working hard. clockin so much hours in OT.. not that he chose to OT, but he has to OT... sigh~ he even work during the public holidays.. and i can see him wearing out sometimes... for natasha and our future home! big money, here we come! :) but i guess, that's parenthood. :) and i'm sure Vincent and myself are enjoying this phrase of ours. :)

here wad i think about parenthood:

1) Being the most tired you've ever been in your whole life - and the most happy.

2) Sitting up in bed feeding your baby in the middle of the night, and knowing that all over the world other mothers are doing just the same. :)

3) Watching Natasha sleeping face and wondering what the future holds for her.

4) Discovering how infectious Natasha's giggles can be.

5) Dreaming up fantastic food combinations for your baby: avocado and banana, chicken and grapes or sweet potato and broccoli.

6) Taking millions of photographs, which you keep meaning to put into an album, but never quite get round to it.

7) Discovering the pleasures of three in a bed - even when Vincent and myself only have a few inches of space while Natty lies sideways across middle.

8) and above all, having Natasha is the best decision i ever made. :)

Thank U Jesus, for giving us Natasha.

2007-05-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

some updates on nat!

pictures 1st!!

2007-05-03T17:35:00.000+08:00

these days, i just dun feel right.. having fuzzy brain these days.. getting giddy easily. =( but that only happens when i'm working.. hurhur, guess too much computer. this feeling dun occur when i'm at home with Nat and hubby. well~

just bought another 'big' toy for natasha.. its her stroller!!! =) we went to scout for something good, comfy and stable for her.. went to centrepoint mothercare, which supposedly to be the biggest shop, but their Maclaren stroller was a little disspointing.. we thought that Maclaren was the 'Mercendez-Benz' in our car form.. well, we though it wasnt comfy enough for Nat, hence we drop the idea.. next, we head to Robinson, and search for her 'Lexus' - Aprica.. manx, they're damn ex.. a stroller for over $700 to $1000? way above budget, and vincent thought its really not up to the value of money...

drop the idea of our 2 top strollers.. than we thought of Combi(Honda) yes, we had one in our eyes way before Nat was born... head down to causeway point and continue our search..... nah, long story short, we bought a Korean brand - Carpella stroller for her.. its has big storage, big comfy seats, suspension and brakes at the back! though it cost $300, i find it worth it when we place Nat inside.. she look like a big boss! hahaaa!! she enjoyed sitting inside! next, we shall buy some toys that can hang unto the stroller for her. =)

oh, Nat enjoys biting now. she bites everthing and anything her mouth can land on. =| even even when i bathe her, she can bite my hand while i'm washing her back. how smart~ she loves talking and looking at Daddy. and i can see, Nat enjoys seeing Daddy talkin to her. =) even when Vincent scold her, she would just smile and melt the anger away.. haaa~

one of my good buddies, Charissa.. her bday is coming.. and i realy want to attend this special day with her.. she helped me alot during my wed and stuffs. and i'm also eager to show my little princess to my fellow friends as well..
till than, maybe shall post some pictures after the meeting with them.

aww.. feeling guilty, just wallop down fish and chips! argh!

2007-04-21T23:17:00.000+08:00

was having a hectic week last week.. company organise our yearly team building.. and i really enjoyed myself! its really like an event whereby there's games and all sorts of activity... just like sec sch!

something which i kind of get jittery is.. the night activity.. argh! i wonder why the company Directors like to scare us.. the whole of our HQ office is switched off to pitch dark, and no one is allowed to switch on any lights... we had to 'investigate' a murder case.. the scene was re-enacted for us, and the suspects was also list out.. than we have to go into different classrooms or department room as 'crime scene' to hear out their different story.. its interesting, but... scary. just imagine, whole office pitch dark.... than those scary stuff.. *faint

we had so much games, and each games is all about team work.. played games like.. communication game, put out the fire.. so on and on... although its really tiring after every session, but its not easy to get the whole company of different department to come together and have fun as well...

my group comprimise of Operation, IT, Curriculum, HODs, Accounts.. its kindof whole hierachy already~ hurhur..

we had our dance as well.. i was being made to act as 'Yue Lau' as the original Yue Lau was sick last min..... i dance horribly and i got stage fright! couldnt remember my lines on hand~ my god~~~ but just blabber my way through.. ahhaaaa

was very touched by the whole event.. and as i said earlier, i really really enjoyed myself.. dunno how to express any further, but, i think i really like wad i am doing.. and i'm in this company for already 2 yrs.. =) keke.

yup, below is just some of my camera pictures.. still waiting for IT dept to upload all others cameras pict... oh! we did a JUST formation. shall post it up when i get it. that picture is awesome! so nice!

er, something is wrong.. shall post next time.. hee~ pai seh

2007-04-09T11:17:00.000+08:00

hellos everybody!!

just got time to come online... yup, work has been good. being posted to Marsiling Branch, which means... i can go out later, and come home earlier! how awesome~

just brought Nat for her immunisation.. 3 jabs in total.. of course, she did wail and all.. but it quickly sudsided. :) she's a brave girl.. =)
these days.. feeding her has been a little tough.. she gets really cranky and refuse to drink her milk.. we thought that her incisors are growing.. but,nah~ she's throwing her temper at us.. hahahaaa... she can really flare up. clenching her little fist with so much energy, and *pop* her whole face becomes red.. she telling us, she's very very angry. hahahaa~

have been showing her 'VeggieTales' and she loves the tomato! keke.. shall go scout for the soft toy... =) hmm.. wonder wad kind of toys should i be getting for her..
haemo!

alrighty, here come some pictures~ can i share it with all of u. =)
my little bundle of pride and joy...=)

2007-03-16T14:49:00.000+08:00

i'm starting work next week..
truthfully speaking, i cant bear to leave Nat for work. i've simply grown very attached to her...

have been putting her into a routine for bedtime. she has successfully been sleeping at 10pm for 2 weeks.. awesome! before we got into this routine, she sleeps at 3am every night! manx, all of us are so tired to coax her.. her eyes would be open widely expecting u to speak to her.. hahah~

natasha is growing very well, she's beginning to blabber to us everytime we speak to her.. gets very excited everytime we ans her 'a' 'ohh'. hahaha..

no doubt, my life is all about her right now. and i'm enjoying every sec with her.. seeing her growing inside my womb and out now really gives me a satistaction.. much more than satisfaction, actually.
ask me wad about motherhood do i like... its about all her smiles which will make my heart flutters. :) many a times, i've seen Vincent grinning when Nat smiles. and of course, i see true fatherhood shining through..

i love my family~ at las!! shall post her pictures next time. :D

2007-02-21T16:31:00.000+08:00

hellos everybirdie!!

first and foremost...:: Happy Chinese New Yr!!
smiless..

this yr new yr outin has been a fruitful one for Nat.. keke.. having been praised wherever she goes mades me feel bliss as well.. keke..
Natasha has really been a blessing to me and family. she has created so much more laughter in family with all her gummy smiles and little doing.. i feel really greatful to God that He has planned this step for me..

for many who think that i may missed out fun outing with my peers, i feel more happier to have Nat with me. :) i dun mind spending all my time with her.. serious!

heartful of thanks to my friends who came specially to see her when she's just born and on her 1st month celebration.. special thanks to Eunice Onn. i'm so happy that u've been a great and encouragin friend. thanks loads.. and to those who has been askin if i'm coping well. thanks Ms Goh and Ms Quek(Mrs Tan) i'm doin fine. not to worry.. keke

alrighty, here are some pictures of her.. keke..

2007-01-10T12:14:00.000+08:00

hellos everybody!! aww.. Natasha is born on 27th Dec at 1340! =) hee.. shant talk much. just got enough time to come online and post some pict...

Nat's sleeping now...
here it goes!

my precious darling~

2006-12-26T20:08:00.000+08:00

oh~ its been some time since i last blog.. *apologies. i have now officially in maternity leave.. 3months break! =) 3 months of spending time with baby and family.

went to gynae today with hubby and had a startled news.. i'm going to induce my baby's birth in 2 days time. as i was doing a test to check her heartbeat and my contractions, it seems that inducing might be a better idea than to wait.. i'm having those jittery moments now though.. *frown

friends,
pls extend ur prayers to me and my baby. pls pray that we would be protected and pray for strength.. i surely need that. :)

gynae said that she's already 3.1kg. :) and is safe to be born. with all the calcium been deposited nicely and stuffs... i'm trying to keep cool now~ not to feel stress and so on. ;) hopes of her borning on new year may have been dashed, but its not a bad thing that we can see her soon. *grin, shall post pictures of her, if i had the time..

aww, seriously, i cant think of anything else but bliss now~ haemo!

2006-11-15T16:56:00.000+08:00

oh, been so so long since i last update? whoops.. think the backache times are catching up.. sleeping wasnt as pleasant as compared to the yesterdays... having frequent leg cramps and backache.. i tell ya, i'm really tired when i'm supposed to be working.. but its a prepatory stage, when she's out, i wont be able to sleep too!

3rd trimester is quite a tough ride for me.. being standing up holdin a big belly isnt easy.. baby is now gaining and growing really fast in me.. :) and i'm glad.. her movement is so huge now! but i really feel discomfort when she reach my navel part... can be quite xin ku as she is pressing my rib cage... naughty~

ard 6-7 weeks, baby's due.. :) and i cant wait to see her.. have been hearing loads of baby stories from colleagues, and their experience.. and i chose to believe, i'm enjoying this process and i'm enjoying this experience. :)

this fri is my next gynae meeting, let's see how much she weigh now.. last week, she weigh at 1.5kg.. i reckon, 1.8kg now? or even 2kg..hurhur...

2 more weeks, vincent and i are gonna get the neccessaries.. the crib, stroller, stuffs like that... have already eye on wad we wan, and once shot, purchase everything.....

alright, i'm quite tired already. shall take a quick nap.. dearie is coming home soon. =) i love him!

2006-10-26T15:58:00.000+08:00

hubby has been on standby for the past few days.. and i'm off for the past 2 days.. one word. BORED! i can practically do nothing.. well, i went to do some reading and watching of my past VCD serials... argh!

i miss darling, really.. if he's ard, he'll make sure that i wont be feeling this way and make sure i'm all geared and cheer up. =) though the way he does it is really funny... *scream* i must perserve, just 4 more days, i can see brownie.. haemo~

oh! did i mention anything about my new workplace? aww, its awesome.. its being decorated and its so much more spacious... no more of those 'excuse me' times.. i was really impressed. at least, now.. English and Science is combine together.. at last! and we do not have to route 2 doors just to get to the other side~ alas!

Oct, Nov month is really a hectic, schedule packed month.. with so much stuffs on hand. i am really trying to take it easy... read from magazine that i should relax and not strain myself. but alittle stress is still deems good.. =) but i guess, i prefer working than studying or wadsoever, cux.. there's satisfaction.. =) as in, work being done and being praised.. things like that?

next week is my gynae meeting. yes, i have to meet my gynae now for every 2 weeks interval.. i dun mind~ hee.. i cant wait though... i just realised that winona is one fellow that can really sleep.. after my makan, or after her makan, she will usually sleep.. u might be thinking, how on earth will u know if she's sleeping? keke, cux she's still at one position! hurhur.. if she's moving, i can practically see my shirt move, and the kicks or shifting is so huge that i have soothe my tummy. keke.. she's growing! =)

2006-10-20T13:29:00.000+08:00

went to gynae yesterday.. and i really look forward every month in seeing the little one.. so fast, she is already 29weeks old in me.. 7months plus?

Doc Lee has a new machine, and can ultrascan 3D for me.. so exciting.. i believed other clinic is charging $500per picture.. and i'm getting it free! and we can see her eyes, nose, and mouth already.. Winona has always been hiding from us.. she likes to face my rear. that made scanning impossible.. and finally we caught a glimpse of her, yet her hand shove up and block half the picture.. haha, Vincent and i had our laughs in the room..

so much so for bliss. :) Vincent and i are really happy with the outcome of the scannings.. i was given a haemoglobin test yest, and was told that i'm anaemic again!! i thought i had already eat so much. and i'm given extra dosage of medicine.. friends, extend prayers to me and winona k?

wanted to scan the picturs of the 3D picture, but realise my scanner wasnt pluck in.. so, no eye treat. :)

frankly speaking, i cant wait to see her. =) [she just kicked, again.] =)

2006-10-11T18:38:00.000+08:00

these days, i have been discussing with Vincent on whether should we get a digital camera.. the one which i am holding is really an antique.. yup, money is still the concern.. we are really givin serious thoughts..

is it a neccessity? well, a part of me says yes, a part of me.... no. yes, because.. i would love to capture moments of Winona during her baby yrs and so on.. and all the little stuffs. but to think of the huge expenses which we will be occurin after the little being is out, we may have give this though a missed. :(

we are still considering.. still. well~

work has been never-ending. my current workplace is undergoing renovation, and the whole JE2 has been transferred to JE1.. JE1 is really small place to actually move ard.. glad that i'm being ask to be at Chinese side, where i can be alone and no need to keep saying 'excuse me'. :) but, i'm alone! can be quite bored at times.. but i do feel good being back at JE1.

the haze is really bad for me, especially at this period of time.. i wonder if its the cause of my 1st pregnancy.. but my fore leg bone hurts like hell if i walk too much or stand too long.. and the haze is really chocking me up.. the baby has already grown to my diaphgram, and it makes breathing quite difficult.. have been praying for safety though.

went to company meeting yest, and yup.. Ms ong said that i have to take note of my weight. how sad! but my appetite is really really good, even Ms Ong and Vincent did forbid me to eat sometimes. :( alright, i will try my best to control.

Meeting was fun! we had our dosage of laughters and serious moments, and the whole company is going out for excursion for next month's meeting! how exciting.the only hope is that they can provide chartered bus service.. if not, i dun think i can tahan those long events.. and plans is that we may be going to Sakura for dinner! hee hee* its eating again~ buffet this time.. nov, should be the month i eat more red meat and veg and fruits.. have to take note..

winona has been really active these few days. she can practically kick me and awoke me in the midst of my slumber.. how power. and i cant turn too fast, she will really gives a punch, and it really hurts. aiyo...

2006-10-08T18:03:00.000+08:00

dun blame me for being a narcisst.. keke.. was surfing a friend's blog and came across slide! manx.. technology~ anyway.. i like doing such things!

come, indulge with me..

HAEMO HAEMO!

2006-10-03T19:41:00.000+08:00

the day which i had been waiting has arrived and past so swiftly.. my Wedding!

:) was feeling really excited for this day's arrival. the blessed thing was, i wasnt feeling any nervous breakdown or wadsoever. just took everything on my stride..

a little glimpse of our rings... =) dun blink



this is the most valuable possession i will be having till my end of life. the ring which bind us tightly as one, and symbolise our love.. :)

woke up early to get my hair done. and having Charissa as my make up artist was the fabulous offer. and Huimei as my camera woman and coordinator.. everything went really smooth.

12pm hits, its when relatives arrived and its time for Hubby and myself to be the main idol. *blink* we were busying entertaining guests and i'm really glad to have Char and Huimei around to help me with the little stuffs, whereby the photoshots, the little hiccups which they clear. i din expect them to be really that 'professional'. to really all little bits of details.. and *chuckles* they do seem those i paid alot for..

the blossom 3!



vincent's sis and bro has really been a great help and i do appreciate their endless effort in making sure that everything's fine..

well, hiccups are inevitable, do have clashes. but i shall be more virtuous (hahah!) let it go~ my big day not gonna be smash by her!

anyways, the picture which i like most.. the one which both of us look really good is................................



how blessed. hereby, i wanna really to express my heartful of thanks to Charissa and Huimei whom has been so supportive, helping me with all the little stuffs which i myself may have neglected. thanks babe. and to all who has made this a possible and memorable event.

and also heartful of loves and thanks to Vincent, who's the man of my life. the one whom i will be relying on the rest of all matters. i pray that we hold firmly the affirmation of our love and progress on, as a couple, and as parents. :)

yeah! toast to everyone! Toast anyone?

2006-09-28T11:14:00.000+08:00

yesterday was really a day i enjoyed myself.. having friends specially coming for me was really somethin that happens once in a lifetime.. :)

Thanks to Charissa, Rachel and Huimei. it was initially a meeting purely between Char and myself, as Char is going to be my make up artist. i was impressed on how equipped she is..and i am reallly blessed to have her in my life.. cux i can save money on her! hahahaa. kidding~

meeting with them was supposed to be at 7pm. but delayed till nearly 9pm.. ha. guess it must be the blur sotong huimei waiting at the wrong venue..

everything pass very fast, taking pictures, as Winona and myself are the prime features. :) Vincent was really spontaneous, allowing them to take pictures. ahhahaa.. but was really fun and i did really enjoyed myself in their prescence..

Winona is already 6months old growing in my tummy, and it's really an experience to be able to feel her kicks. hurhur.. have been listening to Mozart for her. heard that it creates Peace for the baby.. keke. (oh, she just moved!) have been praying for her that her developement would be perfected and she's gonna be my little strong fellow that's gonna be Vincent and myself little pride and joy~

friends? pls extend ur prayers to my family and winona, that all of them is protected and keep them all away from evil. =) Thanks!

2006-09-13T14:47:00.000+08:00

Its been sometime since i last blog.. have been busy with tasks.. tasks of shifting house. :)

i'm really happy to have a little human in me now.. and i can feel the faint kicks too! the feeling is really miracle. :) this fellow must be a strong one.. i do not even know that i'm already 3 months pregnant initailly.. i only found out when i was 4 mths plus. how ignorant!! i was pretty worried that the 1st 3 months was terror for her..

for the very lest thought that i am pregnant. most of time, i thought i was putting on weight. went on diet, went jogging. and happily doing some duck walks at home.. hahhaaa..people say that the 1st 3 months is the most crucial month for the foetus. but.. i think i went through mine without any worries!! :) how bliss.

the very fact that i thought i wasnt pregnant, was because.... i din suffer from any morning sickness, or other symptoms that pregnancy may spark off. everyday seems fine to me. :) now that she is already 5 months old in me, reaching 6 months, i pray that she absorbs all the nutrients i am eating for her. :)

my colleague bought me a book and a cd. that's really sweet of him. a book entitled 'Praying for ur unborn child' and also a P&W cd. i was kinda touched. the very fact that we worked together less than a month together. Maybe he's a chrsitian and i was one and we did talk about Christianality somehow, on some occasions. but, nonetheless.. i'm blessed.

i'm getting all the privilege a mama should have. my company is taking extra care of me.. though the work stress is inevitable, but, they're surely cutting down for me.. :) everythin just falls simplin in place.

though financial is really a factor. i know deep in us (Vincent and me) can overcome this obstacle with love and trust.. we may feel stress, but ultimately, we know we are doing for the little being in me, all this sacrifices should suffice enough to offset any discomfort. :) hahhaaaa.

alright, next Thurs is my gynae appt! cant wait! last month scan, she hide her face from us! cant see her.. so mischevious! hopefully she will sleep correctly this time round. mummy wans to see u!

2006-07-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

some things i would rather not talked about it.. it might just sour and make things worse and tense up... it might be i'm a person that is protecting herself, but i have learnt this all my life. i would rather shut myself out, than to linger at someplace which i know i dun enjoy and i dun belong.

it started this way back when i'm in my pri yrs. i witness so many of my parents fights. bringing all those shit emotions to sch, and upon reaching sch, i have to act bloody hell nothing happen and on with my life. its went on. secondary yrs was worse. my mum would talk all her rubbish in her car when she's fetching me to sch, and will reprimand me for some stuffs. upon reachin sch? act nothing happen again. poly yrs? i got to slog my life out to work and study to pay for my sch fees..

life's hard. but i past by. people dunno wad i went thru. not writing a pity sobby story.. but i have wad i have in me is instilled long ago. dun ask question which makes u think will make me ponder. if i chose to close that door, it might be hard. hard to even open that again.

pillars of my wall may seen strong. strong and steady on the outside, but it might just toppled right from the inside. ever live in a home with no love?

2006-06-19T11:10:00.000+08:00

Listening to: bornagainradio.com

you can take apart a clock and work out what makes it tick. maybe even make one urself. but there are somethings you cant reverse-engineered..

time is precious. and all things happen for a reason. be it a good cause or bad. it happen for a purpose.. i was reading a magazine when i was pooing in the toilet. and it said that the most dangerous thingof all to reverse-engineer is a relationship. just looking at the way couples interact gives u no idea what goes on beneath the surface..

i am blessed to have a more than perfect relationship. a man who condone all my mistakes and past mistakes. love me for the way i am.. treasuring me the way i ought to be. :) i am happy when i know my friends are feeling the same way too. the bliss when they have their the other half with them.. i am not trying to boast or something like this. love happens and it blossoms. in a relationship. its all about.. loving and forgiving..

well, can a relaionship be really that easy? i'm going to ace it! but the reason why we dont reverse-engineer a relationship is that its so hard to find one we would want to be in..finding the other half to some can be a kill, to some, a hitch. time is crucial. let time takes it course.. love will find it ways. :)

2006-06-18T23:30:00.000+08:00

i am finally able to rest. have been looking forward for this week ever since early June. ah! bliss!

i will be on Annual Leave for 1 whole week. Reason being.. its to take time off. and this week is hubby and myself celebratin our 5th year anniversary together.. how wonderful life is! when his mum heard about it.. she was too amaze, that how time flies. :)

i will be accompanying grandpa to his checkup tomoro.. its been some 2 weeks that i havent been visting him. argh~ laziness kills..

though i'm on AL, i ought to be happy. leave all working stuffs behind my head. but somehow..i can dream of things which i did not finish. and i can wake up in the middle of the night, just to SMS my superior.. manx. i wonder if i am under stress. i am chasing after some student. tryin to open new classes and tackling some wierd parents. well.. time off? darn.

i think i got to lay my hands on another book. its been sometimes since i last read a good book. well, same goes for exercise. went to flowepod.com and came across a girl who is so depressed about not been able to lose wt, and wanting to lose it. well, all of us.. just want to lose it EFFORTLESSLY.. bet its easy~ hahaha... well. prayer do change things, aint it?

listening to bornagainradio.com. this web was been introduced by my poly good friend - Joseph Ang~.. its been ages since i last saw him. wonder hows everyone. used to go lunch in a big group, used to laugh and burp to whose caring.. i kinda miss my poly friends..

for a split seconds..

does seed contain starch?

2006-06-10T17:31:00.000+08:00

have been feeling very bloated sinch morning.. it might be the breakfast which i treat myself to.. keke, went ahead to my temptation calling~

HotcakeS!! aww, i just love those, melting maple syrup top with butter that is readily melting on the hot hotcakes. :) i hope it did make some of u drool and crave for hotcakes.. hahaha..

this is something which i will usually treat myself when i'm working weekend. time can be really a kind of drag? well... i just closed a Creativity case again. it seems that i need to zest up. if i do, i think i can really hit Eugenia or Mr Peh's target. keke. i'm lazy that's all.. sad thing, my Dalton has got his sch camp. so we had to refund him, hence.. minus one headcount under my name.. well, human true reality..

there has been many good shows coming up.. and i am looking forward for my Annual Leave. keke.. i think my savings would be wipped out though. with all the plannings and so on.. well.. Hubby and myself are planning to for Marche.. He din tried it before, guess it would be a good treat. Rosti~ with the large german sausage topped with sour cream. aww~ savour it!

i think a new colleague will be joining us soon. well, i hope she would be someone i can click with. hopefully... here is bored enough. let me have someone which can kill my time faster....

2006-06-09T23:36:00.000+08:00

Drag day.. I just realised that i am getting more and more tired of working. it seems that time is dragging.. seconds by seconds. i'm trying to find work to keep me occupied. but, the thing is.. it dun happen when i was in my previous branch. i will always so many things to do yet so little time to settle. now, i have a abundance of time...

i wonder if this is good. Shirley used to say... 'if u're busy, its a good sign. if we're not busy.. something is wrong somewhere' hmm... i wont i'm not brewing any problems.. keke. my right hand assistant, Sharon is going for her long weekend cum weekday off. aww.. i think i gonna miss her. she used to be there with me rot when we have nothing to do.. hai. sad. its ok.. i shall keep myself busy. i shall...

i get the uplifted feeling when i received compliments from my superior.. er, it might be indirectly.. but i chose to believe she's complimenting me. keke. so happy.. i realised that my EOAs are really a happening and loving bunch.. i hate to see them leave. well, another batch will be in. i wonder if they would be the same age as me.. or older?

my stomach has not been feeling well. have been those bloated sensation. can feel like burping, but feel like vomit at the same time. Doc prescribe Magnesium as my medicine.. well, i think my stomach is super acidic. haha.. i wonder why. my pH is higher than required. i am at the pre stage of stomach flu. *sniff or worse, stomach ulcer~

i chose to believe.. i am already HEaled 2000yrs ago! toast!

2006-06-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

i was looking at my hotmail.. its being sometime which i actually filter my mails.. the other time i logged on.. hotmail actually deactivited my mail.. *faintx* guess, i have to be very faithful to that email as well.. that mail, it has all my contacts, my receipes and stuffs..

these days, or should i say.. the past 1 yr, i have only been checking my corporate mail and neglect my hotmail. i received many mails from many people. some was from my church mates. was.. i was in their email loop. known as nypcg. -Nanyang Poly CareGroup- we used to meet every alternate Fri for caregroups. in one tutorial room. everytime i have CG with them. i feel very loved.. all of them are so real, none of them are of fake intention.. i am so easily blended into one of them. loving and caring for each other..

i am a big sinner. havent been going to church for quite some time.. to some of my friend, i am onced a strong believer in Him. now that i backslided. i have no words of defence to build myself up. i done myself wrong.. i backslided. but! i know still. that He is the man of my life. ultimately.. Jesus taught and held my hand when all has forsaken me.. i experience him before.

this entry, i'm writing alittle on Jesus's side. cux, i kinda miss him.. i received my CG leader Eileen email, circulating the song which i used to sing in church.. there was a fondness feeling. i nearly teared. the video was epicted in the show - Passion of the Christ.

i can rememeber very cleary that.... right after i watch that show, i head to Church for youth grp. we had communion on that day. the show so fresh in my head, i was holding His body and His blood which bleed for my sins. i couldnt hold my feelings. who would have died for me? there was many times, i broke down when i remember that scene. Jesus made me feel so loved, made me feel so treasured..

these are all my heartfelt words. i just keep typing and trying to recollect my feelings which i used to have.. the mustard seed which He has planted in me has not withered. but it will continue to grow. i still want my family to be build on Christ. to hear my childrens saying that they do not fear for they have Jesus.

from my bottom of my heart.

Jesus, i love U.

You take my hand, lead me to your side
Your warm embrace, sets my heart on fire
You are my shelter, God of all wonders
You are the Hero of my life

I live for You, Saviour of my life
Your love for me is wider than the sky
You are my shelter, God of all wonders
You are the Hero of my life

Chorus

You came for me, Your life for mine
When I couldn't save myself
You bore my pain, my sins my shame
Jesus My Lord My Life.

head to this site, to have a hear of the song. which i hold deeply in me still.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6nlUw98Qhs&search=new%20creation

2006-05-13T23:28:00.001+08:00

i have been so engross in my dramas.. i can actually dream of it.. i think my prev entry was on He Jun Xiang. and i just finished my korean drama. another love story.. a pity its only 17episode ;( i dun have enough of it!

no matter how busy i am, i would dash home to see my drool idols. keke..
met up with Charissa yesterday. had some good talkings. and i'm glad that i met up with her. thanks to her persistence.. haha. i do not have to hide any feelings when i'm with her. i'm really comfortable and i'm glad that i have her with me till now.. someone who show no pretences.. apparently, i have some friends who think they are damn great and 'so nicely' add words and action into me. i cant change whoever had such thinking of me. but i know it in my heart. no point of acting the good angel.. if u have successfully portray me as the one being the bad guy, thanks. u have succeeded.

hai! complain is just non abusive kind of anger.. well, back to topic. ok, i think i should really lose wt. haha! no lah,i lost all the zest in doing. and i strongly believe that work is adding the piles. all the teachers said so.. i'm glad that my colleagues are all working well.. it can be very stressful when anyone of them made a mistakes. cux, i will be the one appeasing the fury situation.. i tried to convince some parents who are at withdrawal thought. and i am ecstatic that i manage to retain a few! yeah! keke.. keep it goin. i just hope that most of them will be able to 'convince' as well..

holiday for the kids are coming. its when we have all the enrichment lined up for them. i feel like joining them for the magic thingy. keke. i wonder if i could.. nah.

Hubby has been reserved. and i am kind of suffering alone in this place.. seeing that woman and once she open her mouth, it can practically spoil my mood and spoil my whole day. shitty manx.. i tried to avoid her at all cost. its ok, i will be out of here soon. right brownie? ;) slowli, we will build the dreams we had together.. next month will be our 5th year together. though there was many many ups and downs. i believed we are really settled down after so much has happen. all the mishappenings. it has taught us to love the weakeness in us. he has seen all the lousy side of me. i had seen the disgusting sight of him.. well.. :)

every moment we share together
its even better than the moment before,
if everyday was,as good as today was,
i cant wait till tomoro come.

2006-05-06T10:11:00.000+08:00

i have recently being on a drama craze.. more specifically, Taiwan's show. i could easily spent tonnes of money on them.. aww..

the show which i just watched finished.. was 恶魔在身边 casting 杨丞琳 and killing looking 贺军翔.. another love story. but it was superb, not saying about the story line. all love story ling is basically the same. wad i meant, was the cast. it's really idol kind of flim. i din really like 杨丞琳 before i watched this show.. she cant host! but well, my perception change after that.

i din really like this show initially though. just that i need some show to kill my time when i'm resting at home.. keke, i dun tink i was killing my time after i watch. instead, i watched till wee hrs at night..

sad thing is i finished watching, and i need another one to continue. hahahaa..

alright, a picture of my idol! hahahaa...

hurhur... and also the lyrics (Chorus)

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽

暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
不能用恨你却不住结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里
暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

2006-04-28T19:25:00.000+08:00

the long awaited team building album has finally been uploaded.. was grinning my way through when i was looking through the pictures...

uploading the pictures now as well... a moment of bliss sure embraced me as well..
was supposed to report to work today. but i was very really giddy when i wan bathing in the morning. has no choice but to head to see the doc. was glad that vincent was beside me..the doc took my blood pressure. ok, its my pressure acting up again. wonder why my pressure has been bugging me. last time, it cause me to faint and got admitted to hosp. argh...

shall post some pictures now.. firstly, i present... this is the full company photo. with the CEO and departmental HODs.. not a really big figure company.. but! a whooping enrollment of 10,000 students.. achievement eh.. :) i think so too..

my company

and this is my Zone.. the 1st branch with a student count of 3000!

everyone really counts.. there's really a flow in the workplace. should anyone is down. something will really hog up..

we did play many games. and the games are all linked to company related stuffs.. of course, they emphansize on.. teamwork, direction kind of stuffs.. one game which is also our last game is.. called centipede. all of our legs are tied up with another partner of the same height.. with only one free leg to do the walking. one hand holding placed on the shoulder of the one infront of u. the other with the ball in the spoon. not that its not difficult. our mouth are stuff with whislte as well.. this is really the sucky part. imagine, u are drooling all the way through. and qianwen, who's standin in front me, jolly well wiped her saliva on my hand.. *faint

this is the game. everyone's involved!

alittle look at me..

i cant possibly post all the games out.. i justpost those which i think i had reall fun and had meaning inside. another one, which i played before. this is called Trust Fall. meaning... u gotta trust the one who's down on earth catching u.. it was east for me to just fall back. some colleagues was scared though. they land hard on their buttocks.. poor catchers.. i did catch some buttocks landing. my hand did suffered some scratches and briuses.. haha..

my Trust Fall!

after that, its the last event.. the skit which all teams has to act. my team was acting.. Geisha.. and i'm the ugly one.. well.. we won 3 out of 4 trophys, and was the best team.. yeah!

on stage, my group!

trophys with us! without our mamasan though

this is another group which make me laugh till ache. its Mr Peh's group. my god, he's really enthu. he went all the way to China to get the whole teamsuit. not that he purposely go all the way there lah.. he went there for some buisness trip than shun bian buy.. i really kowtow to him..

Huan Zhu Ge Ge's group.

haha.. i like.

2006-04-19T12:42:00.000+08:00

i am back from my team building day! oh~ it was a hell lot of fun! i really did enjoyed myself, though all of our ass was aching after 2 whole days of sitting on the floor.

we did played loads of games and we even had a heart to heart talk for all of us.. i get to hear and know other colleagues better, and even know how my CEO craft out his career.. i really loved my company to bits. :) went to training yesterday and company paid for all of our fees. each of us cost ard $500? whao~ i did benefit. but its too much of a common sense that i have taken for granted for most of the time. well~

oh... Darling and myself bought something huge togetheR! we bought a 21 inch TV and also a DVD player accompanied by sub woofer and speaker~ impressive? yeah~ i think so too.. keke... we're planning to further furnish. :) our little nest. whoossppp. now, i can watch my dvd, play my game on all of this little corner.. i love his mum. she's really sweet, knowing that i am working, she would specially cooked for me and ask me to bring for my dinner at work. i mean, even my bloody mother wont do that.. Darling's mum has already super exceeded my own mother's doing.. she's really a nice lady.

so much of a bliss.. of course, i do have some hiccups as well.. well, i'm being transferred to the other branch.. i do not know if they find me efficient or wad? but placing me at a branch which i thought... was a total mess. there's so many late payers, so many unsettle stuffs. and i'm being ask to settle. well. i chose to believe i'm more competent.. when i was in the Maths dept, i settle all my stuffs, left with only 1 late payer. all things done up and really neat and tidy. now that all has to start afresh.. nvm, i can do it! slowli....

i'm actually taking over my colleague Eileen who's transferring to Hougang. well, i used to hear her brag saying that her accounts submission can be zero error.. er, i guess i have to beg to differ. tonnes of errors, repetition of names.. er, so that great u mention urself to be. sometimes, human's words can really be deceiving. well.. i had a taste of it..

now that i am in a new branch. all has to start all over again. hopefully, i can pick things up. and have more time for myself and hubby. apparently, i'm even asked to go back on my off days. *faint* 6 day week work? can die, u know?

2006-04-09T10:48:00.000+08:00

slacking some time off.. i was dead beat after the presentation. just need the extra time for that extra rest...

i did enjoyed my company with Darling. we bought dvds and watch it together. a marathon from 1pm till 8pm.. we just watched non stop. drag matresses out and happily lie on it. my darling has been sick for the past few days and he has to serve his idiotic duty.. i couldnt bear to let him go in the morning.. Sunday was meant to be our day together..now that, i'm missing him.. we're reaching our 5th yr together, and i'm still feeling the bliss. i'm glad that our path did crossed and i'm more than blessed to have him. i'm still counting my blessings...

went to shoppin yest with darling, but i just went to 2 shops and spent almost $200 over.. impulsive? nah. worth buying.. hahaha~ Sean called me up the other day and told me that i gotten a pay rise. i though it has already risen after appraisal, but apparently, the management has agreed to give me more! EE-yeaH~ i dun mind! i'm really happy. things are working out really fine. i'm enjoying this phase of my life.. wanna go out soon, but to my that 'home' which i dread going.. when am i coming out of it?

2006-04-07T11:13:00.000+08:00

Its has been another long wait before another fresh entry.. i was so cooped up by work. With so many things on hand, i have to work with 2 colleagues to finsih up our presentation.. my company came up out with something called 'Learning Organisation' -LO. and we're the first LO group to present.. i was glad that we pulled through together.

one of my member, she felt really rowdy in doin all these.. she actually called up my superior that she din want to present at the very last minute.. i almost fainted on the spot. guess she is really feeling bad with all the things happening around her. work and home problems must have been overwhelm.. she's a good worker, and she is also my good friend. but things just go well. she used to be with me in the same branch at Jurong, but was transferred to CCK and now back to Jurong. but she's at the other block. so, maybe the enrollment is higher, and naturally; the stress is higher. i really do not know how to help her..

oh ya, something to share.. i felt really good presenting to the whole company. and i was so ecstatic to see that all people are so engaging.. we have some actitvity time, and it did went well. and i overheard that my CEO likes the actitivity time.. *grin* all things went well. i received compliments, i received 'well-done-pat' and i feel good. *smirk* i am not a born presenter. i hope they see my hard work. the 3 of us hard work. how we slog after work. how we discuss till wee hrs of night. aww.

right after my presentation. we have another acitivity. Team Building Day. well, in here.. we're going to do up a skit. and i'm the ugly Geisha. good. i dun mind. gonna act like those 'Ru Hua' kind. cant imagine. caught hold of the 'white paint' that was supposed to paint on our faces. being 'Geisha'. well..... anticipating.

alright, hubby's sick. gotta see him.

2006-03-09T11:24:00.000+08:00

guess i'm missing out alot of my blogging spirit.. now that i am THAT busy. but just that blogging seems to have been chuck aside. well, that's for sure... 'a-time-being-thing'.

wonder if some of u rememeber that i liked wad i am doing everyday..and i like the way my company runs.. at least its transparent and i know where i am heading. in the month of Feb, all of us did 360degrees appraisal, and i wonder how did i fare in the eyes of my colleagues.. patience is a virtue. let's wait and see wad happen next. i am looking forward for a promotion. a designation promotion..

i chose to believe i am more competitive, and it did show. being the best sales award and also in one of the massive big reputatable centers. am so happy that everything works well.. *grin*

got myself a book. 'the Rule of Work' by Richard Templar.. in that book, it indeed taught me stuffs which i thought i knew long ago. hmm.. dun belittle of ur knowledge.
not that i want to work that good to get that book. i got it for a reason.. the next meeting.. April's meeting, together with qianwen, we're goin to do a presentation.. the purpose of the presentation is to make all my colleagues learn and benefit. so that all of us will on par.. i must shine through and hopefully all of them will get 'norish' by the book.

just got back my report card as well.. i find my company really 'kiddy-fied' reason being, we got graded as well. when i first received it last dec. it did sent grins to me. keke.. and i am happy to see the grades too.. though i do not know who graded me, but heart full of thanks. :)

i'm having thoughts of getting a lap top. but should i? my table is out of space. and my CPU and monitor can be given to my step sisters. which i think well be beneficial to them.. just a thought.

till thans.. i have to get goin. have to work soon. ;)

2006-01-11T17:21:00.000+08:00

spent such a bomb these days. i am not really in the new year mood. just that the shopping, the only thing that i am looking forward for. keke..

well, spent a fruitful day during the public holiday with darling. went to queensway shoppin center. was so packed. and clinched a few good bargain. darling bought himself 3 tops and 1 levi's jeans.. he look so nice in it, which i think.. its worth the money. he was so upset that he spent so much that he wanted to get another lower grade jeans which cose $120. might as well, spent another $50plus to get a better looking jeans.. if its worth the money. its worth the spending. well, thats my theory.

went to TBP for some treatment and i'm so happy that i'm seeing resutls. ;) got so much of lucky draw coupons and now, i'm short of one word to get the big Ang Bao. strolling down TBP, i saw many theresians, many of which unfarmiliar faces. i went to the top deck where my memories still instill so hardly in me. nothing changed much. more fancy shops. but the feeling is there. lookin at those farmilar uniforms and surrounding. makes me to think back. i'm missing those days.. Sec 2-5 when TBP is practically the loiter place i would hang out at. just sitting down there, occupying one whole area, laughing, jokin. screaming till we croak to releasing the stress.. well, its all fenced up now.

i feel so lousy that i am not doing my part to save money. i am supposed to be doing it way back.. well, my new ear resolution... to save and get a beautiful healthy body.. yesh. i believe.. the zest is back.

is it?

2005-12-27T00:20:00.000+08:00

Losing weight was my life long commitment.

realise the past tense.

Was.

well, i am still trying though. just less the effort compared to my yesteryears.
:( supper was a strict no-no. used to. now, i seem to look forward for supper.. oh manx, why did it all happen. :( i can just shift my mind into a not guilty state and wallop anything i deem delicious.. bad set thinking. i blame it on the thought of work stress..

Regina's my superior and yet i feel she's very dependent on me. she kept asking me to do things when the slightest, she doesnt do. :( she doesnt like to ans phone calls. she can order those new stuffs to ans within 5rings, and yet she cant set a good example.

oh well, i'm whining here. i am. cux i cant find anyone else to whine. i whine to Vincent, but i keep telling him the same stuffs. he's encouraging..

i heed his words. i just do my best and sure, my work's recognised. well. i believed that.

appraisal is this coming March, and i get the leak that i will be transferred out to other branches. i dunno should i laugh or cry. laugh if its a point of promotion, cry if i have to re adapt to the wierd surrounding and all. hopefully by the time i leave JE1, Regina is more stable to where things are kept and more dependent on herself. :( i still prefer JE1, the parents and students.

i fall in love with a K2 kid. Name's Delwyn. look forward to see him every Monday. he's the shortest of the 5 kids in the class and he's the only kiddo who wear specs. looks funny when he hold a packet of 200ml Magonolia milk on his tiny hands. he took 15 mins to finish that packet. it will take me only 2 mins. :) well. i love kids! and i am planning to have my first child on age 26? yes darling? when we are more than finanicial stable and all. i wan a boy boy first. :)awwwww

i have already applied a block leave in Feb and cant wait. reason being, its my birthday. well, no more of that fantastic looking forward to it.. i am more blessed when i recalled those yrs on how my birthdays was being celebrated.

In 2001, the whole class of 5J stayed back for recess and hold a birthday bash for me in class. i was ultimate touched and couldnt express my ecstacy. i still keep the card, and upon reading. i do tear too. i look those ladies. even when we gradute, i do still have birthday bashes with them. in gathering at Ms Goh's place, at Jeslyn's reunion steamboat dinner. i have the class with me again. see, blessed isnt it?
though sadly i spent my 21st, i dun dwell on it for that long. content is when i recall those happy moments.

i know many of my ex sch mates birthdays have passed and i have omitted in their 'invitation list' well. in my heart - heartful of Happy Birthday and well wishes. i do not have the guts to sms and call just to say happy birthday. u might have hold it against me.. but. well...

should give myself a bitchslap.

nah. i should be sleeping soon.

after reading my novel. :)

should brush up my english. ;)

2005-12-25T15:25:00.000+08:00

went to play badminton with Vincent and his sister's family. with those little kiddos running ard the court. kinda fun and perspire tonnes. they played really well, i seem rusty. but! i did run ard for the shuttle. :(

played for ard an hour before going to stadium to have my field running... hmm. its been some time since i had my running. bad. but, i feel like goin back to my exercise regime. well, see how.

been very tempted to try many slimming products. colleagues have been trying a medication by the doctor, and Shirley did impressively lost much wt. but question really do arise. is it due to pregnancy? cux she had much water retention. so..... well... Qianwen is now on the medication, and did not show much results. she's seem slow on the medication though. lost some. hmm, should i try?

i gained back quite a few pounds. i hate to shift the blame to my job when i lack of self discipline to educate myself. i succumb to temptation that easily now. i cant resist the calling of choc and snacks. how come? i really need my zest back. be instilled!

yersterday, channel 5 'blessed Christmas' i seen many farmiliar faces on air. Pastor Prince, church choir, Andelline, Angie, and other musician. and Deacons.. and also the BrightStar nursery. i kinda miss pastor's cool hallow voice. yesterday's show was brought to u bu New Creation Church. such a proud moment for the members. at least we know where our tithe and offering been heading to. we open a NKF outlet at Bukit Panjang using our weekly offering, and also New Creation own Marine Cove. i shant name other church organisation where they emphasize the importance of tithing
yet thery ask memeber to keep tithing in order to be able to build another church which will need tonnes of resources. they should just be content, and not dig deeper into people's pockets for their building fund. well.. i had friends which have shun the church due to massive out reaching for funds. even when my friends do not have enough for themself. it seems, not offering seemed an offence.. *shake head*care for ur members more than caring how much u all received. well.

perhap, i am in no position to speak anything. just some personal feelings..

cant believe i'm supposed to work tomoro when its a public holiday. this kinda feeling sucks. really... its ok.i dun mind slogging, if i see my promotion surfacing. :)

2005-12-17T17:10:00.000+08:00

hey ras and denice. keke, i'm ok already... one word of cautious.. just dun visit doc during the lunch hrs. haaa.. i finally finished all my medication.

this past week has been very fullfilling! i cancel one of my off days and attending meeting. but the meet up kinda saddens me. i though i could clinch the best sales award again, when i had 95 new students under my pri maths. :( not this that is fullfiling..

the fullfilling part~ i bought my cousin and vincent niece to wild wild wet! woOhoO. kinda resembles 'Fantasy Island'. its my time arena. when i mention 'Fantasy Island' they claimed the name's sound awful. ha.. i tried to apply tonnes of sun block on me. i just dunwan to grow anymore tan. i looked like their maid when i bring them around. sad! i did enjoy myself thoroughly and i know for sure, the kids do too. i had so much of screaming and swimming, till i wake up in ache today. this 2 kids can really eat to make me bankrupt. from morning, their waffle and laksa, to their kfc, tidbits and fish bee hoon. cant blame, its their puberty yr.

looking forward to go another time with vincent. (if he has the time) :(

to compare wild wild wet and fantasy island.. hmm.. fantasy island has more thrill. 'double trouble', 'subarushi?' , 'black hole'.. all these. wild wild wet seems catered to younger kids. and i guess its the safety reason so many games are not around anymore.

i had my fun share this time. till i reached home, closed my eyes for my night rest, i can virtually feel the water floating in my head, and the cholrine smell tingle in my skin. aww... sun burn!

any friends, wanna go? tag me along~ keke.e... provided i had time.

entry's wierd. no connection.

ermx

2005-12-11T19:04:00.000+08:00

i lived through a terror day yesterday.
yesterday 10Dec2005, i was admitted to hosp after a neighbourhood doc gave me an overdosage of injection. fainted on the way back to hubby's place.

i was suffering from a very bad rashes when i was working. it starts to itch at around 1pm. i found myself in pain after scratching. went to see a doc ard my workplace. WTF, all of them are closed and wil be reopened after 2pm. the pain was unbearable, asked to be excused from work. and glad that Shirley allowed. reason of not being allowed would be shortage of manpower. but my rashes was that bad that my colleagues somehow shun me aside. well.. i was afraid that its contagious too. went to toilet and i was disgusted that my thighs and hand are all red and blocked with so many rashes. they resembles those liek mossies bite. i was getting panic than.

dialled the cab. the cabby was nice. talked to me so as to divert my attention. the rashes was spreading like hell.
went to the idiot doc. he too was having his lunch. he excused himself to the room and continue to eat. as i was the only patient, i requested if i could get immediate attention. the 'nurse' din wan to do it at first, but i requested again.. in hope they will understand.. anyway.. patient's life comes first than ur bloddy stomach! i asked vincent to come down to clinic by the time. Praise God he's with me.

when i entered, i did apologise that i interrupt his lunch. well, he din ans. asking me and gave me an attitude. i couldnt care less, just tell him how much pain i was in. he gave me a jab, and i was asking wad causes this... his fantastic ans was...'i dunno' and i further ask.. 'should i abstain from eating all seafood?' his ans again.. 'see, i duno wad causes this as well, it gotta be trial and error. u have to eat again to see if it attacks. it might be some insect bite, or seafood stuffs.' i looked at him in amaze..'trial and error?!' i wouldnt even wan myself to be in this state again! the jab he gave claimed that will make me sleep after 30mins. ok, i heed his words and head back home though my stomach was grumbling for food.

before i hit 10mins, reaching the void deck with hubby.. i was already feeling very bad. my vision started to blurred and there i go. i concuss. vincent must have slapped my hard.. i began to regain alittle conscious. i had lots of flashbacks. it seem like i was really sleeping. vincnet kept talking to me and bring me to the staircase when i sat down. he called down the ambulance. and i was put on a drip. my blood pressure plunge down. thanks to the overdosage of jab. the ambulance called up the clinic and ask wad medication i was given.. even 2-3 mins, i was given a blood pressure test, and i overheard it was goin down.. my whole body was too weak to do anything. i was like in jelly state. how baD!

i was given numerous injection again as my body is rejecting any stuffs inserted in my mouth. i wanted to vomit by the time. the doc in hosp had no choice but to inject something in me. i had many test. from ECG to check my heart. from oxygen testing? to many more. to blood test. and the doc said that my vein are too small. that's why my blood is taking it own sweet time to flow out. damn. i was given medication and i have to eat 6 medicine just in the morning.. fantastic.

finally i was able to discharge. i was feeling better and my rashes has subsided. the doc who attended to me was a filipino. head back home in cab and i was alittle dizzy. vincent went back the neighbourhood doc and screw the clinic up. demanded a refund from them. it cost me $39 from the bloddy idiot doc and hosp just cost me $70. $39 for the whole faint experience. head to hubby's place and i was sleeping again. yest i practically slept the whole day. i was feeling sleepy all the time.

one hell kind of experience. my left hand is still aching from all the injection. 5 injections! and my vein is bruised. imagine! i am going to write to straits time and complaine! hmm

long entry. but i see how fragil life can be. and i see how i cant live without vincent. he was with me all this while. without him supporting, without his caring. i wouldnt be here now. darling. u are really my precious. though u always wake me up with ur silly songs. i am more than blessed. darling, i love u. so wad if others say about us. it is love that bind us. we do not have to live other people's saying. :)

2005-12-07T22:43:00.000+08:00

my grandpa got admitted to hosp again. the sight of him suffering ache my heart so bad. i had a very bad feeling, of something stuck in my mouth, making my speech so hard to express. the more i wanted to speak, the words seems hard to spoken.

my grandpa is one person i hold so dearly in my heart. i was lying on bed, thinking... those days in kampong. when he wake me up by tickling me with a feather, how he hug me when he bring me to school. he was the one buying crayons for me when i needed for my art lesson. he was the one to teach me how to make glue using home cooking stuffs. how to add an additonal hole for my belt cux i'm growing fatter and fatter... there's just too many things i can list down. now that he's sick and old, its my turn to return my love.

i am not heartless towards my mother though.. u see, it pays to be good. my grandpa prays for me constantly. he holds my hand tightly everytime i see him, and tell me he prayed for me. that was so assuring. i treasure him. not by wad he do, but how he show he loves me. he doesnt have much money on him, but he bought me a gold cross necklace..

i dun ask for much, i just ask that he will be on mother earth happily and healthily. when he hit 80, i will throw a big bash birthday for him. i promised. even if it takes me now to start saving. i will..

friends, pls.. extend ur prayers to my grandpa.

2005-11-30T13:07:00.000+08:00

have just changed the outlook of my blog again. not that i got nothing better to do. just feel like changin. kinda bad outlook though. the words are not very ease reading. well, i know. it aint flattering.

hubby is now sleeping. and we just ate our lunch. he was playing his new toy - PS2 and i am doin up new look. hubby is now complaning that i keep using his comp to do my office work. check my emails and stuffs. i tried to abstain already~ well, to no avail. apparently.

was very anxious about our 1st ever powerUp course.. hee.. wondering how is it. wanted to hear the feedback and stuffs.

just got my pay but i paid back 500bucks into our account.. my fault, use our ac to purchase my specs and contact lenses. gotta save for our tv now. i promise!

tomoro's work day is only qianwen and myself. andi have no idea why did she give a student 2 hrs clinic with seeking approval.. i dun think she gives a damn asking too. and she has the guts to ask for early confirmation. ermx, sometimes... well, as the saying goes.... patience is a virtue. and i chose to believe. cux i am waiting too~ hahaha...

yeah~ whole day hubby is goin to be with me. but he's sleeping and snoring. hmm. i wan to cook for him. but wad can i cook.. whip up something healthy and greenie. keke...

till now, i am really envious of Regina high metabolism rate. she eats so much yet she is not a least plump. how good. no exercise yet her body is consider fantabulous. hai. dream on~ ivy. u gotta do it the hard way~ no choice.

its ok. i shall go search for recipes now. hmmm...

2005-11-29T18:24:00.000+08:00

today's my off day.. and today's my company major even going on.. wonder how is it goin.. hopefully its good news.

went to my cousin's place and get her P6 sch textbks with her. intending to visit grandpa at the later afternoon. who knows.. there's a long Q at the bookshop. hence all plans delayed and .... called grandpa and he sound sad that i cant make it to visit him. i feel bad everytime i have no time. i tried my best not to make distance an excuse. but time was another factor too.

these days at work had been more than full-fillin. though regina is in charge of the center, but she's still a newbie in the center, it seems that i am over in charge still. i dun really like the feeling. many a times i tried to help her. but she din helped herself. when its time to accounts submission. i think she will slogged till she's dead lo. hai~

last fri was terrible, one parent mother came up screamin at regina. regina had apparently told her wrong information when she double and triple checked with her. the class had been re-scheduled to 7-9 and yet she had the audacity to say its 6-8. the mother was so mad that she wanted to speak to the management and din believe she was the in charge. well, one cool thing happen is that i manage to calm that parent down. i know her son long ago, and we had a little talk.. about how her son has been bullied in sch. --my opinion.. mother is too protective of the son.. too much of something is always no good. well..

i am now reading my 2nd book of Dans Brown. manx, he's damn good.. his plot always send another twist. finsihed Angels and Demons and now i'm reading the famous 'Da Vinci Code' Channel NewsAsia did have a show saying how true this book is relating. the holy blood and the holy grail. well.. the most funny thing that i heard is... Mary Magdalene had some sort of sexual relationship with Jesus? and the last supper picture did have a woman being pictured in it. so how true? no idea.. Last supper was a picture saying the last dinner Jesus had with his 12 disciple. and apparently, there's a woman being pictured inside. hmm.. interesting? i am now together with Robert Langdon into his quest in finding the secret code of Sophie's grandfather. Mona Lisa? left a woman, right a man? well...

2005-11-16T10:41:00.000+08:00

my grandpa got admitted to hosp again. and i am feeling so worried about his condition upon hearing the news while working. i couldnt get another urgent leave off. and the next day is another important meeting day.

will be going to visit him later. just called up the hosp to check on the visitation hrs, well.. they claim my grandpa is KIV goin home today. so? do i still go CGH to see him? or see him at home?

goin over to Meiling's place to coach her tuition. oh man, she din pass well, and her marks aint flattering at all.. she din wan to accept my tuition in the 1st place, guess she went through a truama when i teach her in previous yrs. come on~ i am not that frightening. this girl just dun do her homework. not that i delibrately enjoy being played as devil.

watched exorcist 'THe POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS U' was wad really instilled in me after watching the show. i watched 2 different season of show. and the 1st one was still more...... disgusting. as usual. i did scream and hide behind the cushion while Vincent tried to act macho and had the look of 'i-am-not-scared'. stupid him.. he tried to scare me! he sat at his kitchen stool, cover his head with his white towel, and just sit there staring at me.. it did scare me out of my wits! ran over and slap hard on his arms.. and he happily laugh, laugh.. saddist.

i have a new colleague on board with me. Shirley has being promoted and being transferred to the other block. Regina on board! she's quite new and not very customised to our style of working.. well, i feel that..... nvm, keep my comments to myself.. just a thought. we will be working happily together. how can we not be? she just stays at my block! how near and how far it can goes~

oh company meeting was yesterday and i won the 'Best Sales Performing Center' WoOoHoO!!!! yeah! so happy. for the 1st time i worked for 7months! its mine! hee.. i got the lowest churn rate as compared to other centers! well, our tutors still have a say and stand here.keke.. i believed, if i open up new classes, sure months of best sales is still ours.. its not just hope, its working through reality.. keke..

alright, i gotta eat my breakfast.
online early cux i wanted to call up CGH and check on my grandpa's condition. glad that he's able to be discharge. (:

2005-11-08T00:04:00.000+08:00

i am sick for the couple of days already.. since last friday? i really drag myself to work though i am not in my tip top form. well, sunday is the day i cant hold on. took a half day leave and was urge by my superiors to go home.

was given 3 days rest~ woOhoO.. anyway, tues and wed are my official off days. so? no use also, i'm off during my off days. arGh. its ok.. i came back earli today~
slept awhile during the noon, till Shirley called me and claim that my P2 class got problem. shrugx, i'm drowsy after medication. nothing actually drills into me at that moment. think i kept quiet and 'ah ah' all the way. cant blame me! i'm not conscience enough to think!

wed, i'm going to cook again for darling. he actually count how many times i cooked for him since he got enlisted. well, not difficult to count also, 1 time onli. *grin.
can sense that he is really anticipating it. he had already list down the stuffs he wanted to eat~ haha..
i think food binds us together. er, food binds all of us together~ trying to save money and get stuffs, and get out of here! only darling understands my plight, and he know wad shit i went through. after all these yrs, i'm tired.. i still continue to praise Him for placing vincent into my life. no more setbacks and intruders...
darling is having guard duty today. poor thing. cant sleep, but he damn smart, change with a idiot who faked mc, and the guy who faked is takin vincent's duty instead, and that is on Friday! yeah~ sometimes, u gotta be smart in taking mc. my darling's smart! keke... i shall reward him by my cooking! (as if i cooked that well)

tomoro i'm goin to visit grandpa, though i am sick, but i dunwan to face someone at home.. wil head home straight after visiting. think i will cooked some porridge for myself and settle.. yeah~ ginger, fishy, meaty, and a wholesome stuffs... *drool

i cant seems to have the motivation to lose weight anymore, i practically have to write a note on my phone standby note to remind myself to lose weight! how bad can this be happening? back in stc, i just had the zap and click i go, diet till i satisfy kind. now? guess, the older i get, the more i wan to satisfy my stomach? but Mdm Tham claimed that its normal when students goes into working environment. faced with work stress, naturally, sweets and snacks will somehow ease the stress.. and no doubt, my work is a high stress area. my colleague can work till no time to arrange her hair. me too~ i'm beginning to hack how i look. this is bad lah! when i walked down the aisle of shopping cneter, i realise how crap i look..

its ok. i am still ivy. the one vincent loves is enough. people might think i'm childish, thinking, vincent is the whole world to me. u guys are right! i can live without anything, anybody. but i cant live without him. i'm grown more than attached to this relationship. cant wait for the family we are buiding. slowli and steady. (: dear agree?

meow meow..

2005-11-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

the phone i'm eyeing..

the horn i'm desire..

the flute i'm yearning...

scores, i'm missing...

i miss and want these things.

2005-11-03T18:24:00.000+08:00

was browsing thru friendster.. glad to see that many of my friends have blossoms, and one of my band junior finally turn straight. (: though not in contact, i hope the best for her, i used to loved her till bits as she irritates me non stop. we had wonderful memories together... maybe being crooked doesnt mean anyone fault, its just a pitfall, the fall that most of us had fallen before~

i used to write to this crooked friends, who's still a bunk. these lines still store vividly in my mind. "Both sweet and sour, your angst stems from your sexuality; more specifically, your homosexuality. Maybe you're not yet sure and you're worrying and trying to find out more about yourself, or maybe you're pretty sure but still have trouble coming to terms with it and being honest with yourself. Maybe you haven't told anyone, or maybe you have and people aren't taking it well. It's sad that such a thing can still have potential for some of the worst angst there is, but as long as you stay confident and positive, you can get through anything. By nature, you and your angst are unseparable, but that doesn't mean you have to let it weigh you down or consider it something other than part of who you are. Remember that you are your own person and that nothing can change that."

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating life
Now I'm bound by the life you've left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

2005-11-02T22:49:00.000+08:00

i went on a shopping spree today with hubby.
gosh.. i promise myself not to splurge anymore this month. but happily i spent a total of $100+. just slash and slash, and happy i go. its ok.

my 'home' wardrobe is bursting, and i dun have enough hangers and space to put in anymore clothes.. hai.
i'm giving my bag away soon. thats just too many.. giving them to my little cousins, who's P6 next year. hope it will come in handy. most of them are new. pretty new.

i have another wish list item on my wish list.. (:
a couple of somes though.
1) Sony Ericsson W900i phone.. aww..
2) Sony PlayStation 2. yeah~
3) a new TV for hubby and myself
4) a dvd player
5) a new wardrobe
6) a pair of contact lens
7) spectacles!
8) braun buffel bag.

this should be all!aint that much right? hai.
so much more. work hard! to earn payrise~ keke.
maybe i should show u ... my desire phone..

this should be all~ tara~

2005-11-01T17:29:00.000+08:00

was lookin forward for this week.

public holiday! i'm glad i'm well alive after yesterday war in office.
Shirley and i slogged till 11pm, and we cant get our report balance. ArGhh.. i have no idea why, and we cant care much but pack bag and head home.. it was the 1st time i head home with Shirley too.

strange experience though.
i think i asked some stupid question to Shirley, asking if i could be release early on Monday.. her ans was.. somehow, make me feel wierd. she say its better not, will affect appraisal. come on~ well, i just kept my mouth shut. before anything can be written or drilled into her head.

i sense some office politics when i spoke to shirley about work. after all, above all the smiles she had been smiling.. there seems to be something bad hidden underneath. well, bad? i learnt from her, that i will not do something similar to wad she's doin. *hopefully

these days, my darling has been a little cranky. even auntie(his mum) cant stand him.
he's on my nerves these days.. disturbing me when i'm dead tired. waking me up when i'm stil in lala land. and biting and pinching me when i'm watching tv. he dun speak to me in human language, he kept meow-ing to me. well, this is wad i love him. and ilove him to bits. i'm glad i have him that i can called belong to. Thanks Vincent, for every little things, thought, move u have made. i'm fortunate.

oh meow meow?

2005-10-30T12:16:00.000+08:00

work load has been adding on piles and tonnes on me.. being the year end, where parents are eager to enroll their kiddos into tuition... i was shocked and in awe when i saw my pending tray full of new registration and well, withdrawal forms as well.. netrual~

well, i was working like a bull yesterday. till i had this very intense pain at the back of my head.. must be the one i knock on the wall, till it somehow scare darling.
it still hurts somehow.. brain scan?

some not so happy stuffs did run along my life.. i find it hard to delegate things to some of my colleagues. i do not know if its the age problem, being the youngest in the company and also a operation in charge, i really need more than myself to clear tonnes of things. but somehow, asking a 35 yr old colleague to help me clear things seem hard. i tried, but ended up.. i'm always doing it all by myself.. i dare not consult to Shirley about this. will it show my incompentency? will it disrupt my work appraisal? many things just zoomed through my thoughts.. well.. lets just wait.

i know some friends have been concern over my well being, and some good friends know wad i'm goin thru those shit in my home.. it did changed me, and i think its better to let them know, i have backslided. and its not anyone's fault. its mine, perhaps.. but i still have Him in me, believing that He's the almighty God. i'm not deceiving myself.. i know it as i sensed him before.. my work had required me to add in more hrs. i know about the one serving God or serving money. i beg to differ. i am now serving no one... being myself supporting myself. i feel proud of my achivement. earning my own school fees when i'm schooling, earning my own pocket money during poly yrs. i've surpassed many of my peers.. i chose to believed.

not to worry about my well being, i'm fine.. and couldnt be better.. i cant seek ur understanding, as i know how it feels to be a friend seeing another friend backsliding yet cant help much. i seek more than just mere understanding, but approve of wad i feel right and good now.. try not to change my mindset, i do not wan anything nasty to happen which will lead to any one of us, unhappy.

or when the limits is up. dun let any of the unwanted things to happen.

well~ things that have been bottling down for so long has been finally off loaded..
ease~

2005-10-23T10:31:00.000+08:00

its been some time since last blogged... arghh. pratically have the extra space to breath during work. upon graduating from Poly, working for an education firm, lead me back to education path. anticipating holidays with the kiddos. their enrichment and stuffs..

working there, i can practically sense... there are really kiasu parents. and ChiNa kids are really SMART! they are the ones that make it for our GEP(Gifted Edu Program) classes! oh man, shame on the comfort of singaporean kids. but somehow, i cant really speak the correct chinese to them. they either dun understand what i'm trying to put across or i will simply ask my colleague how to translate. SAD! hai.

so much so for good things.

had a Zone meeting with all my upper hierachy boss. i'm glad my workload has dropped down. i just realise Shirley has handed me so many things! i am like doin EVERYTHING! from money to the little minor keys inventory. madness. i dunno the reason behind that, but i chose to believe that Shirley is trying to build me up. if i can survive in that pioneer branch, all others branch is chicken feet already.. yeap~

*fingers drumming on table*

my darling is sleeping now. he's been online till wee hours thru the night, playing games. my small boy, curse when other players shoot him, gloat and laugh when he had done his revenge. we have just past our 52nd month. not saying anymore how contented i feel. but i'm glad our path crossed and he's my life now. i now look forward in saving money building our love nest in future. seeing how he play with his 5yr old niece make me feel, ah~

and now, i'm online.. he's sleeping... his sleeping habit ar. later in the afternoon, i go take nap, by the time he will be awake and surf net. see? wierd!

hai, blame on me working on Sat. sad.

feel like cookin something for hubby. hmmm.

2005-10-07T11:20:00.000+08:00

same old usual morning.. but today's the 1st day i'm having the early release. on a Friday! keke..

was very very happy when i received Sean sms last night. was simply flabbergasted. keke.. not only am i confirmed being a confirmed staff.. more good things are on my way. so happening. i promised Sean, i will work hard, and pass my Tues test with flying colors. hahahaa.. let's see..

but i'm grateful to this company. though the work load is 'heavenly', as compared to other centers, at least. time pass faster here. (: heheee.. i'm loving it! truly!

k, shall study for my test..

Brownie? meow? we can fulfill our major bank savings! yeah!! dreams do come true! meow meow!

works.friends.love.

2005-10-05T10:57:00.000+08:00

after 6 months of probation. i am finally called 'Confirmed Staff' in Just. (: all the little bonuses are on my way! Yee-Har! i was graded a fairly 64% which my boss think its not bad for a green and young me. well, i thought, why not 1% more, make it a more better B3 grade. hahaha..

was having a good talk with Vincent last night regarding my problems. well, he seems to understand or not-so-understand my stand.. it was me that cant utter the word out. some emotion can only be felt and not expressed out in words.

again, its my problems. my damn problem(s).

i wonder wad the heck am i feeling this way. was it pride? was it ego? or was it something i dun even know of. it was tough. to juggle btw conscience and reality.. i told meself to accept back. but the mind is strong, the flesh is weak. i am weak.. in this area. sincerely thanks to one of friend(s) who sms me or emailed me about my well-being.. (bottom of my heart - Thanks!) i din know by a entry or short paragraph in my blog, i would get noticed and get the loved feelin back. but i am not delibrately doin it to gain that. i hope u guys know wad i meant.. thanks and sorry to those i have, in any case, neglected..

life, seems to be troubles these days. feeling better with those kids, and stress is coming up cux the kids are goin to promote to other levels, which means.. more work for me.. more moron parents, more and more and more work. sigh.

another challenge.

2005-09-27T09:32:00.000+08:00

hmm.. kinda bored to blog these days.. well. it might be, i have practically NOTHING to blog. being waiting for pay day. (*hee) tt's all. well, goin to visit my Grandpa later on.. din see him for 2 weeks, and he's already calling me to ask how am i.. my grandpa's sweet. he's genuine. unlike someother, who claim love me.. yet (NVM)

something very unpleasant happen to me on sunday.. not trying to be unfilial here.. but anyway. i am unfiliar to Her only.. tried to show some respect yet i dun reap back wad i sow. money is wad she ever care.. i cant believe she threaten me to spoil the relationship with Vincent. She wans some kind of reconciliation? its too late, more things u have done have already accumulated anger and hate. no use sayin goin for such stuffs, and in the end.. u threaten me. in the end.. hammer my door, in the end.. spoil relationship. i see u as a devil, i see u as someone spoiling my life.
if she ever does that. i'm out of this house. believe me.. she changed into someone i dun wan to see her at all.. the more i say, the more anger i have. i just hate coming home. (is this called.. home?) i should say, i just hate coming back to this place.. honestly.

enough said. *poof*
chargin my ipod now.. its out of battery. the batt's good. unlike my nokia batt, dead for just few days.. goin to Suntec later to change it.[ i just hope they allow that] if not, i think i'm gonna bang the door out. Suntec.. hmm, time to do some shopping! (: just window shopping.. cant spend money anyway.. see wad catches my eye. u never know.

i think the company had just done my appraisal and i'm asked to judge myself first.. *faint* i think i gave myself most of the full marks. *heh* i thought i did good. ermx, only for some saturdays, which i'm really grouchy. just dread all sat, when the crowd is damn big and not enough people.. the feeling of not getting things done really sent crazyness into me. and i practically show it infront of my colleagues. i gotta change this part..

theres alot of things trudgin my road these days.. i know my friend is concern about me.. but i duno how to face them. the more they wan to ask me, they more i shun away. i have been more hurt than loved by these so called 'bosom friends'.
and when they try to...(er) i just cant bring myself back with smiles with them. i'm not a hypocrite.
if i dun feel like seeing someone for some apparent reason, i better not see them. cux i dunwan to fake any emotions in front of them. causing any of us, embarrasment.. i have been out of their circles long enough, till i thought, i have already been forsaken by them. well long ago, i anticipated this. so i'm getting not that edgy about these. well, its ok.. i'm getting well enough in life. shant brood myself.

have too many problems. i'm a problem kid. er, i mean. i'm a problem adult. hmmm. its me, that i have a problem with. (it seems.)

2005-09-21T14:13:00.000+08:00

today's my rest day.. and i guess, i deserved this rest day... aww *stretch*

was supposed to go KTV with my colleagues, but weather's too good to tuck me away back to lullaby. (: many things happen these few weeks.. good things though, yet tiring. *frown*

had another workshop on last Friday organised by company.. i'm appreciating every bit and move my company is organising for us. all the trainings, that we do not need to fork out a single cent, yet educating us all the essentials... how nice? Last friday workshop was named 'Just Power Up'.

it was some kind of missionary thingy i undergo way back in STC. only this time, it aint any religion. is a long 12 hr course. though it last for 13 hrs.. all of us was ushered into our meeting room with blasting music in the backgound. very hip and hop.. very 'young' kind of feeling.. hurhur..

well, this course, its something to do with urself, motivating and believin in urself. had multiple of different feelings when i'm undergoin this training..
one of it which i learned and realise was the real power of mind.. i was put to sleep on a floor with a person whispering some stuffs to me.. strange enough, i feel into concuss, not knowing they actually lift me up and laid me on 2 chairs. (i pity those man, i might have broke their hands.haha) some girls was asked to step on me. [yes!] and 2 of my male boss was asked to sit on me((YESS)). not to worry. i din feel anything.. i swear. they felt like pillow. light. very light indeed.. hmmm.. i was brought back to reality. and knowing who sat and stepped on me. couldnt believe. but it was witness by 30 over people. cant be wrong.. i was physic into 'sub-consious' mind, hearing and making me feel like a steel rod. and i was a steel rod when i'm placed on a chair.. anyone who sat or stepped on me, i am still a steel rod..

deep thinking. the power of mind. how powerful? by believing that i am a steel rod. i handle weight that i never knew i could handle.. speechless, i was amaze and dumbfounded.. i will start to believe.

emotions was running high at the last part when they showed us a video clip about Helen Keller, a deaf and blind child. all of us was weeping.. (should get the dvd)

i am getting so happy.. i am also getting confirm as well.. (: it might be the next meeting that i can attain the post i long wanted to.. patience patience..

enough about work.. Hubby's finally POP. and he's been posted to a driver. he seems quite sad about it, though he dint really tell me he's not that happy. but i know darling will prosper in that area. these 3 days have been monopoly and slack.. darling, u gotta hang in. be there for attendance. if they do not have any plans.. just play along with them.. have nothing to lose. (:

when dear was in tekong, i was looking forward his call at ard 10pm. that's when he will faked sleep and talked to me.. no matter how tired he was, darling will also attempt to call me. i appreciate that.. and no matter how i felt durin the day.. i feel recharged after speaking with brownie.. He kept the faith in me so well, believing in me, trusting and motivating when i feel down or lost. he's concerned did i take my meals, he concern if i have enough money.. i love this man.. he's been thru all the thick and thin and all sort of shits. *ops* but we've grown to be one in unison.. saving for our future, slowli and steadily..

dear,

Happy 51st Month!

2005-09-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

Band Entry

was reading some of my band junior's blog.. *sigh* i miss STCMB(STC Military Band). have been out of it.. for 3-4 yrs.. i cant deny the fact that band was my life.. even till now, when i see some band performing, it will send.. goosebumps on my goosebumps. band was my life.. back in STC.

wad i felt being emotional about, was when i was reading this junior's blog.. she had some sort of same view as me, though graduated from band, she stil wans to be back there helping and moulding.. i had 3 great instructors in my life. Mr David Gloz who was a gread band instructors(according to some), was the one who placed me in Tuba section... Miss Doreen Tan.. who was another BIG name in the band world. She's the one.. who has clinched with us the Silver medal that was also the moment of Glory for my batch... and lastly, Mr Eric Wong. Mr Wong was the most impressive band conductor, friend and leader. He believed so much is us, and had build us up to one strong band that can easily conquer grade 5 pieces.. (i'm feelin really emotional now) He taught me the meaning of being one true good leader. in all these learning, i loved STC band to bits.. i can easily skip my remedial lunch break to teach sectionals to my juniors. i can skip my poly lectures and tutorials to have band practices with them, to prepare with them for the major concert. i was really enthu.
all thanks to Mr Wong. but all these are only memories, and i'm like writing in respond to what i read on my junior's blog.

there's a lot more to write.. the passion i have for band and tuba.. all credits should go to Mr Wong. He's the one that had impacted so much in me, and i believed. the girls of my batch and my juniors. everyone knows about band. the group of the most discilpline, and glory. other CCAs actually wanted to 'copy' us, in attitude. alas, they failed. cux, they do not have a good leader behind.

what i can say.. from the bottom of my heart.
:: Thank you, Mr Wong ::

He believed so much in me, wanting me to join another band when i graduated in band, believing that i carry the good attitude of STCMB and the playing skills i have..
He prayed for me before, when i felt so lost in certains areas in my life.
He apologise to me before, when he thought he reprimanded me in the wrong way.

He presented me with the 'Best Graduating Band Member' award, among so many who i thought could have gotten that..

of course, i doubt he wont be reading this. and i hope he wont be able to read. hahhaa.. ae.. nvm..

a great man. great man of God.

i know, Vincent respect Mr Wong as well.. whom he addressed as Brother Eric. yes, He's even involved in our courtship. but that aint impt. He led vincent to church.. i owe Wong big time..

i really wonder, if STCMB is still under Wong. would it still be in this state? hmm.. we could have been a Gold band... already...easily under his baton.. wonder wad's that sch thinking of changing band instructors when its so so near the major SYF. no brains..

turn back time if i could. i would train myself and my junior to be a better section.. to be a better individual player.

2005-09-07T11:32:00.000+08:00

goodness gracious.. i hope my eye is beginning to heal by its own.. it was really bad till Shirley and some student's mum commented on my eye conditions.. i am not crying and i am not sad! was my answer to many of the mummies.. it was funny though.

i wonder why, i always got infected by those kids illness.. when Hand Foot Mouth Dieseas was in rage in singapore, ironically... i was one of the 'kids' who got infected. primarilly was because, i was serving in NCC nursery. i got quarrantine and was on MC for up to 2 weeks.. during my proj days somemore.. hahaha... i am not that weak lah. (i chose to believe)

mooncake fest is coming! and mooncakes are everywhere!! temptation island is on call.. argh. nvm, since hubby doesnt allow me to buy, i made myself! hahaha.. i attended one baking class, and will try it soon enough. (: just oil the mold and knead the paste with melon seeds.. mooncake making!..

i din buy, i make! *cHuckles

i was having some problem with the mooncake mold few days ago. i was in a mooncake conudrum though.. it was supposed to soaked in oil for 1 day, i went to wash it(cux there was some wood craving still in the craft) and wad i din expect was, the wood actually crack! come on, how can i do mooncake when the mold cracked.. went for an exchange, and gladly enough.. the stall owners allow me to. good cust service. HAHA. one auntie gave me 2 plastic mold for snow skin as well.. WHAO! i am so ecstatic. i am was really! big grin yest when i feel so contended. hurhur.. alrighty.. will post up pic if the mooncake turns out well! yee ah!

2005-09-04T16:20:00.000+08:00

sob... i'm one of those many who have been infected with the recent uproar, SoreEYE!
it just *blink* and happen. and it happen on the day when i waited for so long. on Vincent's birthday.
woke up early, doll myself up and get ready for work.. (yes, i work on some sat too..) ard noon time, something just not right happen. my both eyes were both really dry and irritable. i thought it was my mascara or eye shadow had went in. hahaha.. till Shirley commented on my eyes.. 'eh, ur eyes cannot make it'. it was than... i went to see the doc. sad. spending money again. strange enough.. why din the doc gave me MC? since he said its infectious?

nvm, yest was my darling adulthood birthday. He had his share of fun and joy with his poly mates in the afternoon. met up with me and had our BIG share of dinner. keke. we ate really till our hearts content, literally. our food was way up above our stomach. Hubby kept saying his stomach had shrink. making me feel.. i ate more than him. i thought i was only wanting to make the money worth. arghh.. bite bite.
today was a feast as well, vince's mum whipped up so many dishes till the dining area is full of glorious food. its a family together eating. i mean, i feel home-ness and wholeness whenever i am at darling's place. :)

the next sinful thing to embark is... the cake. we have yet to cut the cake. due to darling and all of us are too full to eat another mouth. hahaha.. shall take a pic and post up here. ahahha.. provided.. darling allow. x)

2005-08-27T22:54:00.000+08:00

finally got myself those picx! keke.. got it from the company gallery.. come, its time to prove wad i have been trying to relay to u.. love this job (: hee...
the restaurant name....*drum roll*......//timpani rolling

'The Line!'

Hee.. awesome place

maybe now, some shots of the glorious food? where all of us, fall into the sin of gluttony.. *wink

the sexylicious oysters and crimson lobster.. aww...

u really got to click to enlarge!

wads finally on my 3rd plate of serving. hahaha...

The sinful desert station.. i regret that i cant really fill myself to all of these heaven creations. hee

drooling?

Finally, the famous CHOCOLATE fountain, where u can dip those crunchy choc to the fountains.. oh, not to mention... the extra red and fresh strawberries...

heart tinkled?

Enough of food. hahah.. Let me introduce...

My 3 buds in center! YingFang, Myself & Qianwen(they major in Chinese!)

Zone A-JE1 with CEO. :) Guess who's e boss?

Entire Zone A :) yeah! we rawks! (did i mention we have the most no. of students? :)

and finally, presenting.. the whole family of my company. the network of all working possible, all the way from Operation, Education, Networking, IT, Cleaner auntie and uncles, Teachers! we earn it worthwhile! :)

Long entry eh? wad can i say? i thank Father God for placing and planning my steps so well that i wouldnt ask for more. i love where am i. reason being.. i know the plans God has for me is plans for me to flourish and prosper, plans of good future. -Jeremiah 29:11 :) God bless u darlings... :)

2005-08-25T11:26:00.000+08:00

atmosphere was classic. food was awesome. everything just fell in place perfectly. i thought i was in heaven when i attended last night Company Dinner and Dance.. (: everyone was enjoying.. how heartwarming. eating to our hearts content. :) hee..

i need not emphasize the glorious food. they have 16 counters of different cuisine, each of its own style. people having dinner their are really top notch people, u can see people with ties, balded ang mohs(they seems big boss). well, food is where the people will go. haha...

had a few servings.. until my dress signal tight. hahaa. alright. wad do i have in my plate? keke... oysters? lobster? fish after fish, tissue prata, tim sums, sushi, choc! ice-creams! and awww..their 6 different kinds of cheesecakes. hahaha. ops. it was a night of gluttony.. sinful! guess the most sinful part is the choc part, where u can dip those extra red and fresh strawberries into those choc flowing fountain. haha! tempted? i was.. til now. hee.. i really wan to bring hubby there. dun care bout the cost. food first. :b

hopefully the picx are out on the gallery, than i can really show wad i really mean. (: u guys should try. go!

2005-08-23T16:53:00.000+08:00

sigh big time.. i am now in Chinese side doin some curriculum. Chinese? sound so foreign to me.. nah, its kinda fun still.. translating Chinese. hurhur..

something happen in work today, which somehow bother me.. argh.. i have to fork out $30 on my own. its the petty cash transaction.. some mother just cant be reasonable. when it clearly stated that we dun give out refund based on MC, and they just feign ignorance. argh.. apparently, i called 3 times, and she asked her children to say she's not at home and went to work, called to workplace.. and she left the company few weeks ago. come on manx. i aint a kid. just hope to get hold of the mother after 7pm, and see how it goes. shux.

just realised, how workin life is so tough. the old me, would go shoppin like no one's business.. and when i am really on my own working.. every cents counts. i have to have a budget and everything. i cant shop the way i used to.. many a times, i have to forgo something i really like, but thinking of the latter days of the month. i usually stepped out of the shop.

in one way or another, personally, i feel... its something called a virtue. u can have rich parents, u can buy anything u desire. no need to have conscience trudgin u in any ways.. some called it blessed to have a silver spoon for u upon birth. but when reality slaps right onto situation.. all of us stil have to work. why not start right at young age? when its easier to mould. well, my saying..

just a thought. this place is so warm. argh.. had a hearty lunch..

oh oh.. cant wait for tomoro's company dinner! its at Shangri-La!!!! the Line!!! i tell you.. the food there... awwww.. wait for my review. will update! cant wait. smile.... (:

2005-08-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So, why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

After being sent to his room for throwing a tantrum, Johnny finally decided to sit down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,

I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.

Your friend,
Johnny

However, after thinking about how Jesus would know what kind of boy he had been, he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,

I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.

Yours truly,
Johnny

Johnny knew that he wasn't totally honest, so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,

I've thought about being a good boy this year. Can I have a new bicycle?

Signed,
Johnny

This time, Johnny looked deep down into his heart and realised that this was not true either. He crushed up the letter, threw it into the rubbish bin and ran out of the house. After wandering around aimlessly, he found himself in front of a church.

Johnny went inside and was looking at all the statues when all of a sudden, he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went home, hid it under his bed and wrote this letter.

Jesus,

I've broken most of the Ten Commandments, thrown stones at my friends, wrecked my sister's Barbie doll and lots more. I'm desperate and I've got Your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.

Signed,
You know who

2005-08-21T17:55:00.000+08:00

i finally managed to pull through this week. with multiple calling of not wanting to go work.. it was quite a struggle though. 3rd and 4th week of the month is the shiok-kest. hee.. reason being.. i got 2 days of early release. but it's also the week to.......... do accounts submittion. it sucks. ): with tonnes of work and checking. with emotions running high.

yesh yesh.. i am just waiting for Aug24th to reached. the company D&D held at shangri-la hotel buffet.. called 'The Line'. the fantabulous food.. awe.. cant wait. i'm goin botox after those sinful meal. hurhur. should the food really bring me high. i reckon, i am more than wiling to spend it for vincent's birthday. (: its serving from 16 culinary international buffet with wine and smoothies deck. i tell ya, the a-la carte menu is shocking! fish and chip is $48? wonder wad kind of fish. but since its provided by the company.. here i come! cant wait..

next sat is the day i'm gonna celebrate for grandpa's 79th birthday.. and i knoe grandpa is waiting for the celebration too. was tellin him my plans for him.. he's smile tell me that he appreciate those thoughts. (: granpda emphasize.. 'come pick me up after my church service. wait for me, cux sometime.. cant get back on time' hee. my grandpa.. is a truly man of God. since i was a child. i often see him praying at one corner.. wakin up earli and spending time doin his quiet time, reading bible and praying for everyone.. i learn all this virtues from him.. his love is so tangible.

hold on.. gotta get myself a cuppa of drink...

oh.. vincent and i have been wanting to have a mac meal for 2 weeks.. but it seems that we always have side plans or other plans that have not made the mac meal possible... hurhur. no worries. there will be such a good fine time. (: i love vincent's nieces.. i seen them 4 yrs of growing up. and i'm lovin their presence every week.. and i'm glad that his sister and i have so much to talk about. (: so blessed to be in a enviroment so so called home. *grin

alrighty. gonna get some music now. blog soon... if there's time.. //submition is tiring

2005-08-12T11:29:00.000+08:00

Durations

The Peaceful period in life... *for the moment*

Time has past like they always do. Days and days just pass by... and we just get older. We wont know what will happen in the future, however we will always know what happened in the past. It's how the brain works. Then, there are people who can't remember anything at all. Maybe they tried to block it out in denial, or they simply can't be bothered, or it wasn't important enough to be place in the memory.
But of coz... the brain might not remain well intact forever for us to remember every tiny piece of detail. Then again... who noes... ONLY time will Tell *clichie*...

Looking back... No matter wat had happened. One sometimes wonder how are those people who have been and gone in your life. Whether they have brought good or bad memories. Memories are meant to be so... MEMORIES... regardless of good or bad. You might just wonder how are they getting along with life.

However, good ones are meant to be remembered no matter how bad it ended.
I wonder if it's true for everyone. Do we have to habour resentment or does it just come naturally to certain people? And for those who do habour that pain, would they like to let go of it or even try to look pass it. Basically, to try moving on and to be able to break a little smile when thinking of it. Easier said then done of course... =Þ

Just a thought...

2005-08-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

I like this pic. its taken by darling's brother on his k750i. i like this pic lah.. ops.

2005-08-10T13:35:00.000+08:00

its been so long.. since when did i have really a good dayS spent with hubby. muffie really enjoyed those days.. (: glad that he finish all his outfield camps. seeing those scars on his back.. aches my heart... cant sleep at night, due to those bites.. so poor thing. and those not so edible food ration.. sigh. he's suffering, but through all those sufferings, its moulding his on the same time. and i reckon.. hubby is enjoying.. meow.. are u?

headin down to amore later. its Ray's class of hi and low aerobics. alright, my lazy bone is acting up. it acts up only when i'm in hubby home. haha.. too cosy. cant stand it. but when i'm in my house. i just cant wait to go out. dun ask me why. its a total different feeling. maybe i just dun want to bump unto somebody. just in case, i walked the wrong path and stepped unto her tail.. something will just happen. its better that i'm out of her sight.. i think so.

darling had bought a K750I, the phone fantastic.. can check the batt status. so cool. keke.. its his new toy, and i know he will treasure it more. now that the QD is gone for good... but no choice, i rather him to settle for a good one. at least, he's happy and the phone is fantabulaus. (: ee-right?

he lost a total of 15Kg.. i guess so. so much. aiyo, how many months only. army is really a killer. he's lovin those compliments that is receivin on him. keke.. (:

alright.. gotta pen off. preparing my bag for class. yea! oh, i forsake the magic class... felt that, er... if time permits. but i wan to learn! nvm.

2005-08-06T22:16:00.000+08:00

my leg is sick today. its crying for mercy right in the morning.
i wore my pointed shoes to work.. its not a new shoes, yet it bites.. ya.. my legs are the sacrificial sacrament for being beauty. *dunk*

somethin not very pleasing happened in the morning. tonnes of cheques to be cleared and tonnes of load on me. i din meant to talk back to shirley. but please darling.. let me settle mine cases before embarkin on another. it will only abrupt my concentration and get even messier if i dun settle it. dun it make sense? argh..

shirley is sec maths in charge, and me pri maths in charge. she's been there for 3 yrs odd.. and she's one of the longest that has stayed there.. knows bout every traits and trends of cust. she taught me alot. and i seriously appreciated it. she condone my mistakes and highlight all my mistakes and emphasizing that i re-do everything, should there be any mistakes... she's a perfectionist. too much for a good cause. (i guess).. unknowinly she is adding pressure on me or the others.. Shirley and i have many things in common. her birthday is only a day difference from mine. hers, 16th Feb and mine 17th Feb. and we both have subway craze.. we can work well together. i guess, she's a better working person than compare to those who are being bossy to be perfectionist. i'm at a better end.

talked to darling just now. he's worried for his situation test tomoro. he's havin pressure as well.. afraid that he mite not take it. the sun that is making him giddy, the bites that are causing him itch.. aiyah, heartache lah. he wans me to pray for his test tomoro. may i extend this prayer request out to ur guys? he must pass.. and i know he can one. (: if vincent set his mind to his goals, its just a matter of time.. right? *winkie*

oh.. pollin day is approaching.. yeah!!! public holiday~ hurhur. so happening. (:
geex

2005-08-03T18:30:00.000+08:00

tiring day! on a cool rainy day. went to visit ah kong. sat on the bus, journey time was ard an hour plus. but, i'm enjoyin the bumpy trip. stuff my ears with enya songs and lookin on the clear blue sky.. i kinda tear. cux i reminded myself of God magnificient creation. not tryin to be an emotional here. but, it did happened. gratitude feeling. its true. trust me..

u guys should really hear the song. get it from me, should u be interested. yea? i would be more than willing to share with anyone. smile peeps.

got a nasty evening. i somehow felt cheated by one handphone dealer. all of them in the stall are quoting different prices for me.. and come out with excuses. 'since u know the price, why bother to ask?' hey, come on brother.. if i dun keep asking.. how i know u got 3 major prices? sometimes, dun treat woman as a frail person that u can con on. i learnt my lesson. and i'm smarter than ur tactics. con man! dun buy from this stall people.. its at toa payoh.. i shalt not mention stall names. let me know if u wan to get phone. i will enlighten u on which shop to be a taboo shop.. no customer service, no consistent price, and worst.. no respect. fail in all aspect. disappointment...

enough of them. i'm thinking of getting subway to work. come to think of it. i think i'm obssessed with subway. help! i'm thinking of stuffin myself with their food. cux its so fullfilling and satisfying. argh.... its ok. its me. wil be over. haha.. just like wad happen to Hello Panda craze..

lookin for a book. angels and demons. but its all loan out on all libraries? huh? how come!! not a good day though. filled with disappointment. yet a good day to slaze back and rest. its my rest day!

darling, i miss u.. :(

2005-08-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

enya songs are so calming.. guess i'm falling in love with these songs back. remembering i got to know enya song back in sec 2, at maverick's place.. was just using his computer and came across so many songs, and that is using napster to download.. his collection of songs was so apprehensive, and that fantacies me..

through his computer.. i got to know 'plus 1', and enya. till now.. i am still listening to their songs. (: guess i appreciate music in another angle. it need not bring any lyrics. non lyrical music can sooth one mind.. listening to smaointe by enya. its very deep calling song.. 6.07 mins song. glad that i download it. hee.

was chatting online with charissa just now in the late evenings. she seem so God sent. her words of assuring is always so timely. so so timely. listening to music that are so pure and reading wad she wrote, set me thinking and feeling.. i remember pastor Prince ever preach that a verse in the bible may apply to u in many situations. allow me to explain.

We may know and memorised the verse by heart, and to many people.. they dun really 're-read' the verse or chapters of the bible. BUT a verse in the bible is like a diamond in real life. but why a diamond?

Because, a diamond may shine differently at a different angle of light shine on them. God's word may shine at a different angle to u, on different situations..
so dun take God's words, read and forget. His word are always the truth and it speak right to ur situation.

it speak right to me. upon hearing it the last time, i had goosepimple on my goosepimple. it slaps right unto my face. dun be such a smart aleck, trying to make other people know kind 'i-am-holy' yet the simple fundamentals have not been equipped.

If God is for me, who can be against me.
(this verse just pop to my head).. God is for me.. no harm shall befall. it applies to all God's child. and that is U, who is reading. He Loves U.. so Do i. keep smiling. precious ones. He loves all of us!

2005-08-02T16:53:00.000+08:00

urgh... got a complaint case against me. shucks manx.. and its a JC student. come on, she's the one that is rude and not making sense. nvm, i shall not brood over it. happened on saturday.. and it affected me till mid afternoon.. nvm, its over. lets wait for the verdict. ha..

had subway in the afternoon. its superb. i'm lovin those subs. well, i ordered the one that is on offer. (do u know theres different subs on offer everyday?.. manx, it makes me wanna eat subs everyday! [i'm serious] ) haha.. anyway.. it taste really nice. its tuna sub. and i know hubby loves tuna(sound like those cat food). and i was wishing that he would be by my side.. eating with me. (: wonder why i love subway subs so much. full-filling!

hubby is not coming out during the weekend. good for me as well, as in.. i'm working as well.. so there's no time during the weekend. he's out when i'm off.. how pleasant is the arrangement. haha. how timely(such a word?) ops.. anyway.. i just love it lah. when we have time together with no intruders. haaa... '

if u have been an avid reader of my blog.. i have been saying how i yearn hubby to be back and stuff.. well, i'm not trying to say how much we are in love or wadsoever. but i feel so myself when i'm with him. i can almost wad i feel like it. hahaha.. his mum is much more of a mum, compared to mine. his home is wad i called home, which compared to mine. home to me, is just a word. home to me - in another aspect.. is vincent's place. i love goin to his place. cux, that's where i called home. a place, u can lean on and enjoy the rest. unlike mine.

i'm searching online for handphones model. darling is getting one. and i'm combing every town and small phone shop to get the real bargain. haha.. went to Toa Payoh to search. had a few in mind. selling at low prices. (: people, do enlighten me.. should u know there's places selling cheap phones. :) thanks in advance ya?

alright, gotta pen off.. there's drilling sound at my workplace, at home.. its making me dizzy..

*ducks on head*

2005-07-24T19:00:00.000+08:00

contentment entry

i guess i missed those gluttony times...
went to chomp chomp with vincent on sat. goSh, there are people everywhere. its too crowded.

still, we managed to get a seat. hubby went to order while i wait in anxiety. yes, i just cant wait to eat. hahahaa... it was really fullfilling, we din managed to finish all. we finish the ones hubby order yet wad i order... we cant finish. ha. i was too greedy. darn.

tomoro's monday.. and i'm looking forward for wed. (: the day when i get to see hubby again.

i guess i am too dependent on vincent. i just look forward for weekends, or days that he will be out and spent time with him. i enjoyed being with him and feeling so loved by him. he's good. someone that loves me alot and accept all my wrong doings. wad more shall i ask or seek? when God just place a man of my life for me 4 yrs back. i am more than willing to sacrifice anything just for the sake of our relationship... no explanations needed.. i love him. and i need him. (:

darling has been slimmin down. his weight is down so much till i cant grasp for acceptance. i'm definitely happy for him and love him losing cux of health. he's lookin great and he loves the way he's losing.

but on the other hand. i'm worried.. that he'll forsake me for another girl, cux i'm not prettier than those girls out there. i have this stupidity feeling, such inferiority feelings... i did confess to him. but i think it boils his blood. i shouldn't have doubt him. but its me that i cant accept.. its wierd. this feeling has been bugging me. just cant shake it off. shitty. i just have to change the mentality before wad i say becomes reality... here it goes again. *frown*

i will get over it. i am beautiful, no matter wad they say..

They can say,
anything they wan to say.
try to put me down.

but i will not allow
anyone to succeed,
hanging clouds over me.

2005-07-22T00:16:00.000+08:00

drag day.. the time seems to tick so slowly. i'm doin my stuffs at those super slow mode. tonnes to be done, yet at the speed. everyone's this speed. its thursday.. but, well.. i knocked off at 8pm today. got a earli release grant. (: loving it.

as usual, knocked off and head home. oh, bought some soya milk from fairprice..(its for my breakfast. *hee) was just half daze in train, lookin at my reflection to see how much weight i gained.. than my phone rang...

its joseph. ha.. 'wads with the bag?' i knew he's somewhere near me.. yes very near. he's behind me. we blocked by the door. just had a glance of him. funny.. that is, i'm seated and he's just walked out from the train. got it? nvm... 2 yrs back, when we are all mugging with projects and sch. now? is sch better? i beg to differ. when we all graduated from poly. it seems that we shut ourselves from other pple. its my world, its ur world. i'm not very sure about the other poly mates, their lives and so on. guess by knowing is reading.. reading elses blog. (:

i do treasure those times. but its those times only to be remembered and cherished. like wad i did for my stc days. time waits for no one. its here, its gone.

Getting ahead in a difficult profession requires avid faith in yourself. That is why some people with mediocre talent, but with great inner drive, go much further than people with vastly superior talent.

er. nothing.

2005-07-20T22:34:00.000+08:00

Living apart and at peace with myself, I came to realize more vividly the meaning of the doctrine of acceptance. To refrain from giving advice, to refrain from meddling in the affairs of others, to refrain, even though the motives be the highest, from tampering with another's way of life - so simple, yet so difficult for an active spirit. Hands off!
Henry Miller

being concern and being a nosey poker just mean a straight line of difference. and the line is very clear cut and as well sensitive. living at peace with myself may be good, yet situation stirs up different emotions. answering a call full with hope and service, ended up at the other end, a nasty cust... it can somehow ruin the rest of the day. aint it? *shrugx*

am i making sense? guess i understand myself. would be enough.

i hate the days of having period. stupid cramps and those high craving temptations of choc and sweets. they're never-ending... being a woman... thats the price. good old woman.

oh, i got my name badge for work. so happy. so classy can. though not the confirm designation, but! so happening. cant wait to wear it. shirley din really like the tag thingy, but i thought its a higher service and higher aspect. is it? or its only my own thinking. tomoro's thursday. hmm.. short day yet things to be done. hopefully. done in a jiffy and not delay my time. haha.. wanna catch my 'Lost' show on channel 5. so exciting.. they're reaching the climax. ooOoohHHh...

i am physically tired.. but pushing myself to gym tomoro. come to realise this morning that many of the ladies at amore actually drag themselves to exercise. they just want to make their money worth while. i'm one of them. but its good. we're stil exercising. (: smile...

alrighty. pen off here. ivy's gonna hit the sacks soon. tired.

2005-07-20T17:34:00.000+08:00

i am Very Happy!.. something that has bothering me for the past month has finally gotten off. big big smile :D the day started well and went along even better. hurhur...

cleared my wordrobe and found that i have many clothes that have not being wear or not worn a long time. i shall just stop buying anymore. the promise i have with vincent. (: yesh darling, i Will keep it one. meow...

i am really waiting for the pay slip to be here.. than i will be some how feeling better with money. not being money minded. working is good and tough. not livin on parents yet paying for electricity bills, i guess.. i'm left with very little money on my own. sad to say. its ok! its short term. once financial is stable, everything's stable.. hope so. lets just believe and not say things just to comfort. sigh.

now that the thing that is troublin me is gone... i shall live life with a huge smile and heart. (: loving people, grandpa and hubby! keke. toasties!

2005-07-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

day starts off well... ran 2km on the machine.. and did some weights..
was looking forward.. shower! the spa shower tap, wooHoo.. i really enjoy bathing at amore..

but, i guess my mind was a little hustle. went to the bathroom, had the shower i wanted. than i realise... i forgotten to bring my towel into the bathroom. my actions was like.. 'shitty'. being total wetness, i put on my gym wear. yes.. all the sweat is on me, again after the bath. i guess i was too kan chiong.. i pull open the glass door and the edge actually swiped past my left toe. ouch! i tell u, the feeling can send breakdown to ur body. so tongful. anyway, i knew my goal is to get my towel. and i get it fast with my wet and smelly body. i feel dirty again.
dashed off to the bathroom again. blood was all over the floor. yes, my toe is bleeding.. and i went wobbly. pain was written over my face. got my face towel, trying to dry up the blood.. terrible.........

head to office with slight limp. it hurts with heels. reached there and did my weekly report. every monday was a day of rush and assesment to meet. report tally. i mean, reportS. i have to do 5 reports every monday. no wonder its called monday blues.

hubby is in field camp. well, he said he could lose up to 10kgs in the camp. how i wish i could go as well.. minus off those time when u cant go bathe and poo poo. (: he smuggle some chocs in. well, i hope that serves well with his bunkmate. things are goin very well. and i always look forward meeting him every weekend. :) keke.. meow?

alrighty. i shall continue to see my recorded show. :)

2005-07-14T18:04:00.000+08:00

visited ah kong for the past 2 days.. he seems well, just a little slower in action.
i've been talking to him non-stop, so as to make his brain think..

i even test him on multiplication tables.. he answer swiftly. he's good manx.. (:
my grandpa is biligual? triligual? he knows many languages and is one of the elderly there that is well educated. aint i proud? he know, english, chinese, most of the dialect, malay, jap. this is enough. keke... other kongs kongs and ah mas, will say to me.. 'ur grandpa very smart, can read and speak english!' hahaha.. i love my grandpa alot. he's my only kin now, i think i shower my love so much on. its worth it. cux i see him showering his love in my tender yrs.

my stomach is protesting now.. feeling a little hungry, but i wan to save the hunger till 7pm. keke, can eat and watch tv the same time.. bought soya beancurd and min jiang kueh.. ahhhh.. hungry!

waiting for sat.. and having reunion with hubby! keke. this's week pretty brezze for him.. goin to have his field camp next week. where he claim will have a major change in him.. cux, they cant bathe.. and so on.. lets see. (: *meow!

chatting with my pri friend. the yrs of pri 1 when we challenge each other racing and so on.. hillarious. that was like 13 straight yrs back. and now, we are chatting online. friends, we have loads of them. but truly stays in ur heart are only a few.

for my case, i have several bossom friends which we called clique in sec sch. but, time past to show. clinques to break off here and there. and truly stays with me, loving and caring about my existence.. are only charissa and chun fei. 2 is enough. i wouldnt dare to ask for more or neither less. they're impt to me. hee..

2005-07-13T23:52:00.000+08:00

i wonder if it's too late to give a damn again.
had a fitful sleep just because of wad had affected me during work.
i felt terribly accused and blamed at. which i dun think i done any wrong.

but its over. i shant brood over it. for too long.

ya, its me again.

there's something wrong with my phone, it says system error whenever i wan to switch the camera on. went to the nearest handphone shop and enquire. they're smart, they might think i'm stupid. try to con me by saying 'fix ur memory card' when i know exactly that there's a button that says "Refomat mem card". i walked off, and he seems startled. now its his turn to think... that he's the stupid one. *cHhuklex*

unknowingly, i have worked for 3 months? and everything is kinda smooth, getting on hand. and had a couple of trainings with people. well.. i learnt so much in this company. had one just recent about personality. well, i guess.. my zone have a couple of 'stress' people. my superior is. she's a perfectionist. and most of time. she din know she's adding pressure to us. good news? or bad? *shrugx* but at least, i'm getting used to it. (our center is the most prosperus!) <- aint i proud to name that out? (:

i have been feeling very thristy these days. wonder wad's in me again.

went to poly to collect my diploma cert. well, it wasnt laminated and, i hold in my hands, feeling contended and assured that all the 3 yrs was worth it.. i did enjoyed myself in poly. know so many fwens, that had one way or another crafted another side of me. thanks babes and hunks.

sad thing is that, i'm not attending the grad ceremony. u guys have fun. have truckloads of laughter and paddle on with ur life. pray that its beautifully crafted and let it be worry-free. cux He's in charge. i shant say more, or i will feel being as a... nvm.

i seriously think i need another cup of drink.

nite people. will update.

2005-07-10T23:07:00.000+08:00

just packed my room. was packed with so many stuffs, on the floor, on the table.. messy!

my knee hurts, wonder did i pull any muscle or something. shucks. better let not anything happen..

had my class gathering with 5 joanerx at cafe cartel. its was fun. seeing farmiliar faces, and faces that have been missing for 4 yrs.. peggy, shuxin and rest.. they're the same. (: gathering is all about food huh? where's their food. i will be there! hee

spend my weekend so worthwhile. bet hubby is readin now. i only get to see him onli in weekends. and i would surely make sure i have this time spent entirely with him. but sometimes, my job permits. sometimes, job suckx... 15 more working days to my pay slip! hee

busy is the word. ever since the merger, there's tonnes of work to be done. account submittion is up on my head. shirley naggin and rushing for my work. its always not enough time. while other centers.. have more than enough time. i constantly tell myself, its ok.. after july, i will be more than relax. how i wish this will happen. as if.

having a sore throat.. guess it must have been last night snack. ops.. yes, i went binging again. with hubby. loackers, twisties.. yummy manx.. i got tempted, just like that. and i succumb so happily. not realising, hubby is lookin at me. cux its my who finish up while watching tv. shucks. i scare him. hahahaha. he lost a hefty 7kgs, and i'm so proud of him. and i love to bits when he assure me that he wil not go after other girls should he became one tanned and slim shady man. i belived him, cux i belived my destiny with him has already built on rock. (:

alright, i got to sleep..

2005-06-30T13:35:00.000+08:00

something happen and it spoils my mood for the morning.. shucks, it affected me till when i was resting in my yoga posture. hate that. suck to the core...

i'm aching all over right now.. had my physical assessment, and kinda proud of myself for achieving the results. (:

well, i failed one component. the flexibility test! sianx, i knew i cant do for that, my bones are too rigid to even bent another centimeter.. sad.

went for yoga class today.. i tell u, its torturing.
but nonetheless, i enjoy. throughly! the people are all 'aiyo, aiyo' it did send smiles on my face, cux my company are all middle age. and seeing them doin, makes me wanna smile. i mind u, they're better than me.. they can actually put their legs behind their heads, they're simply awesome. simply. i guess i got to attend more yoga class. though this is my 2nd class, cant do many of the postures.. *perserve*

got myself 2 boxes of kiwis! (: yeah~ simply love them now.. one small knuckle from them boost those anti-oxidants and stuffs.. i guess i'm getting a little health freak. i know for it for myself that i am.. keke.

darling wont be bookin out this weekend, cux of his rifle training. sound so cool right? (: he must be havin fun and stuffs with his friends. hearing him sayin his life in army was so funny. about their exercises and songs.. *chuckles*

next week is my sec sch gathering, and i'm lookin forward. keke. once in a while, gathering meant a little more than everything else. (: i hope more will turn up! the more the merrier~ the wholesome laughter and burpes. awww...

2005-06-26T18:07:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling ok. no fever, yet flu and headace persist. thankful enough i'm fever free... mite be my friuts diet that helps.

hubby should be falling in at pasir ris now.. heading to tekong. he lost wt, and i'm proud of him.. he's so contended with his little biceps that are emergin. i guess, hardwork do pays off. i've been through. i understands..

was reading thru the 'Life' section of Stratis Time today. oh my god! Olinda did lose wt, and excessively... how i wish i'm like her. *frown* but i should adapt the Irene Ang's attitude.. be shapely and not skinny. hmmm.. in any words.. i do envy her new body. did i mention envy? oh shucks.. i shouldnt have..

i was pretty touched by wad vincent had said and sms me just now, about how he assured me that i will be provided for, in the future and so on. i really love this boy till bits.. i appreciate him, and all his little doings. he's just so different, or should i say special, from others. maybe he's mine. thats why. *grinx*

*chuckles* guess i'm typing away how blissful i was.

feel like eating Jurong East Chicken Porridge now.

2005-06-25T11:38:00.000+08:00

wasnt feeling well for the past 2 days.. had the sponge brain feeling and stuffs.. yesh, sick.

read a couple of emails earlier on.. din know there's a tim sum buffet at china sqaure (: yeah~ i'm coming i'm coming! but i got to remind myself... i'm on a diet. well........

stc is having a gathering soon! and jolly well, i'm goin. to dwell into the past again. to see working adults again.. its a time to be seasoned with laughter and memories... anticipating...

i'm just wondering is my period coming.. i'm havin all the before period symptoms.. being wanting to eat snacks.. had control myself till i did wrong things during work.. my mind are all thinking of... 'hello panda', 'oreo', and stuffs. and this persist even when i reached home! when i thought the craving will stop by than.. i snuggle in my bed watching my show.. my mind went.... 'tidbits... tidbits...' arghh.. i succumb to all this calling, and joyfully ate those tidbits (in the middle of the night)how weak, i was thinking. i wished and i prayed and i hoped... it will end all soon.. no more temptation..

'when tempatation calls, its when ur heart takes a fall'

rememebered this in my sec composition, and score a fairly well high marks. cux of that sentence. (: alright, i'm air headed again.

alright.. shall end with this.. feelin terrible when i reached home everytime even though home should be where the heart lies.

Being offended is a choice.
Others can't offend you - you choose to be offended.

and guess wad. i'm feeling sad. i just read, my clinque in sec sch.. they went out together. without me. well... i guess. my friends that remembered me as friends are chun and char. ya.. this sadness, will be over soon. i knew it long ago.

2005-06-20T11:16:00.000+08:00

today is supposed to be 'the-love-letter-day'? oh.. i din know such a day exist.. heard it from 98.7fm when i was gym-ing. [is there such a word?] nah~

heard a couples of poems or love statements on 98.7, some are really catchy.. thought of memorising it and write it on blog, and of course. dedicate to hubby. but i guess, 80% was already forgotten. shucks. well.. anyways.... Happy Love Letter Day (not the chinese new yr love letter) *cHuCkles*

am now in office. supposed to be downloading my Pri 4 Curriculum.. but my eyes are a little way off.. kinda tired. had a fitful sleep last night again! felt like i was in a sauna or something. argh.. there goes my beauty sleep.

drink more water, that is.. keep urself hydrated. i had gallons of soya bean milk. since its complimentary from the fitness center. so why not? hahaha.. here comes the singaporean spirit~ drank to my filled stomach. not feelin negative.. cux its reduced sugar. alright.. cut it off... i guess i must have bored some of u.. literally.

ok ok.. shall do wad i'm supposed to.

to those that are attached.. mayb, since today is the love letter day.. er.. just wrtie something to that special one. (: they would feel appreciated.

to those who are busy working... take some time off.. enjoy. the life goodness.

to those that are enjoying singlehood... even enjoy! its ur life~ live to the fullest. smile babe and hunks...

love u guys!

2005-06-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

splendid... i spent my weekends so.. splendid.

i was lookin forward these days way back 2 weeks ago. and i enjoyed throughly every single bits. i realised i really love Vincent alot. He has shed some weight. His voice has changed.. and he kept coughing..

though the weeks that had past was hard to cope. i reminded myself. i have to wait. i have to wait..

i promise to hubby that i will be a good girl. and i wont be doin any of those sorts. dun bother to ask 'wad sorts'. dun get me to that stage again. i'm out. and i'm not goin back. gonna gear my mind back to gym, kickboxing, yoga, steps, aerobics. believe me.

as usual. had my fullest meal over at hubby's place. His place is always heaven. somewhere auntie would shower me with food. (: blessed huh? diet seems to be always chuck aside when i'm at his place... keke.. well, as wad my secondary sch fwens say..'dun worry.. u already have vincent' true. settling with him. content.

our 4yrs is approaching. 21st June 2001 was our year. 21st June is our anniversary.

2005-06-17T10:28:00.000+08:00

the heart and mind are in conflict. such a dreamer.

intones dispassionately* must not compare myself to others... must not compare myself to others... must not compare myself to others...

ahhh. i get it. sometimes i try, unknowingly, to be perfect. while i acknowledge the fact that no one is perfect, everyone is unique in their own ways, everyone's lives have their own kind of highlights, etcetc [insert more cliches]... that doesn't mean it's an excuse to be contented with life as it is, is it?

i feel incredibly lonely. so detached from the real world... everything seems to be dysfunctionin well...

i hate it when reality slaps me in the face.

and to make things even better, i'm sure no one knows what i'm talking about because i don't know what i'm talking about now. ah yesss. to make things even better, i know that i shouldn't be running away from problems.

oh, btw, what incited this entry? thinking way too much. about what's going to happen. about what has happened. about what i've done (or lack thereof) to cause it to happen. about what i've done (or lack thereof) to keep it from happening.

hate confrontations.

But the sad truth is that if you don't confront an issue, you'd remain being oppressed by stupidity that engulfs and suffocates and turns you stupid too.

actions pays.

2005-06-17T10:08:00.000+08:00

woke up super earli.. had a fitful sleep. scaring myself up..

was watching 'lost' yesterday on channel 5. well.. the farmer man says... 'everyone deserves a second beginning' to kate. this sentence strucks me. even when kate wans to have a second beginning, the others have already taken a second look on her. a look of distrust and fear. sometimes, thinking kills.

2 more weeks. all i can is hope and pray. and i know... prayers changes thing holding and keeping the faith on wed, was something i hang on tight. 'all of the humans can leave and not be with me.. but God is still there with me... He'll Nerver leave nor forsake me' even the world does so...

such teachings which has instilled in me.. kept me warm. allowing myself to feel better that.. God is still in ToTal Control. i believe and still believing.

Many of my friends are havin their 21st birthday soon...
Sheila -7June
Jeslyn -19June
Brownie -3rd Sept
Aiping -8Sept

have yet to get presents. for those approaching and past. how bad. *shake head*

2005-06-16T12:05:00.000+08:00

thought that working life would be a better path for me.

this month's not a good month for me at all.
shattered. terror. the walls of my self-defence came tumbling down during yest's trial. meant to be a happy occasion. but to my own folly. it went haywired wrong. tragically wrong. i have no guts to say and no guts to confess. after all, i guess.. i'm a failure. in wadever. as i said. my self defence walls are gone.

all i need is a second chance. i have instilled in myself, that i wil not let this happen ever again. i repeat. ever. not in this life time. i hurt my loved ones. and i am not doing this ever again.

i'm sorry. from the bottom of my heart. heartfull of apologies.

this month's sucks. people. keep me in ur prayers. i seek.

2005-06-13T11:16:00.000+08:00

monday.. feeling blue... proud of myself that i'm able to drag myself to gym despite the weather to be so tempting so snuggle back in bed...thoughts of 'should-i-go?' or 'should-i-not-go?' went past many times..... i make a deal out of myself..in the end. back to treadmile...

did only a 45mins workout. not much though.. just received a sms from vincent that he's not feeling well... i was feeling.... bad.. he must have suffered a great deal. so poor thing.. but i bet(not to mention), he's enjoying hisself there..

alright.. i'm supposed to be tallying the sales.. and head to bank.. not blogging..

oh.. i like my layout.. spooky isnt it?

keep smiling.. i love u! but i love my brownie more... (:

2005-06-12T21:26:00.000+08:00

no no no no... plain bored.

Oh yeah. The time difference is making it quite difficult for me to catch up with people in Singapore. Bleaaahhh.. cooped up in office.

the only breather time.. would be.. sleeping?
(: grinx. my leg is hurting.. thanks to the heels. they're gorgeous.. not to mention they kill too. nah. its ok. for the sake of beauty... bleahx.

i'm aching, i'm sleepy. i'm feeling troubled. but i know all wil come to an good end. good ending...

thinking where can i bring those kids on wed. hmm.. after my steps class.. to movies with them? since its my cousin's birthday. why not? (: sure to post some pics up. its been so long my narcist character show up.. its time. when i shed those extras kilos off.. am i obsessed? i guess so. since i'm in it for 5 yrs. shudup....

note to self:
don't judge others by your own standards.

2005-06-12T21:05:00.000+08:00

time has past..
1 week. and i have not seen hubby. but he's making the effort to call me everyday.

time was rather well spent. as in. exercise. yes, i'm back to it. kickboxing. steps. yoga. keke..

i'm giving a try. and i think i'm enjoying. sculpting. (:

june hols are here.. and it means.. alot more work to be done.. kids are everywhere in center.. and listen to their small talks are some how or another.. lighthearted.
because of the merging of subjects.... our centers are all working hard. filing. just imagine, that near to 700 students in pri. searching. and filing. wasnt easy. i spent the whole entire day just doing that. shuckx. backache.

had guava apple and orange for dinner. er.... yes, though i'm losing or trying to lose wt. i hope i'll succeed. to count back. i start this regime when i was way back in sec 5. 4/5 yes back? i guess... and i come to conclude....

dieting is a woman's lifelong occupation.
(dun smirk if u are born with the body people envy.. *grin*)

darling will be back this weekend and i am just waiting.. anticipating slowli... i miss him. ):

2005-06-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

mother A: are all ur teachers qualify?
admin B: not to worry. all our teachers are NIE trained. and are ex-teachers.
mother A: aiyah.. dun tell me that. i got a shock out of my life when i discover ur teachers are lousy..

how it drives me to nerves.. that's the quest they asked.. yet refuse to listen to the answers that are accurate and true. well.. shrugx. its life.

vincent has been in army for 2 days? he called me everyday.. (: i'm feeling kinda blissful in here. warm feeling just kinda surge in me. well. he's trying his best to lose wt. same here.

took part in the amore fitness center. planning to go sweating for a new body! hee..
hard to believe? but i hope i can pull thru. spent so much in it. not wanting to waste it.

kickboxing was a real treat. its steps are catchy. so not to worry not able to catch up. i'm just waiting for tues.. where the class wil be on.. cant wait..

somehow.. i dun realy feel like bloggin.. i miss eating starburst. and i guess the little jasmine too. (:

2005-06-02T11:16:00.000+08:00

tomoro's the day vincent is goin in for a fit training... had been spending days with him. nonetheless.. i was thinking am i ready without him by my side.. after all.. i have always been relying on him.. and.. well.. its a matter of fact. i wil have to cope.

looking forward for amore!

2005-05-23T23:27:00.000+08:00

pretty upset about a few things...
my grandpa health is not on the good side.. and my heart wretch as i see him cry as well..

i tried my very best in not tearing, but just couldnt help. he's my darling grandpa. someone i hold so close to my heart. yet all these are happenign to him.

evrytime i call him, he's always so joviel and assuring me that he's ok. but i should have know. he's sick by than. he's in hosp now. and i applied for urgent leave, to see him in there. no one visited me. he called me this morning. he got admitted on sunday afternoon but called me on monday morning. i ask him 'why? now than inform me?' he reply.. 'its sunday. dun wan to ruin ur day.' why is he always thinking of others? i can simply forsake any plans i have. just to be with my grandpa. beside ah kong. there's no family so closely bond with me. yes, not even my mum and sis. ah kong and vincent is the onli one i think i love.

i'm not feeling good.

anyone that is reading this.. pls. extend ur prayers to my grandpa.

bottom of my heart. utmost of thanks. thanks... sincerely.

2005-05-16T22:46:00.000+08:00

"Part of the problem, Mitch, is that everyone is in such a hurry, " Morrie said. "People haven't found meaning in their lives, so they're running all the time looking for it. They think the next car, the next house, the next job. Then they find those things are empty, too, and they keep running."Once you start running it's hard to slow yourself down.

hmmm... its from my company's meeting minutes.. :) interesting aint it?
well.. if u were to think at this moment "what exactly is ivy working?"
k... its a front line job in a tuition center. and i'm enjoying it.. working with people.. and little ones.. yes.. i learn so much from the parents and childrens.. how parents will spend on them.. on how much time they would sacrifice waiting for their kids... parents love.. :D

2005-05-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

oh god i'm still so tired. what's with all this fatigue... have been dashing to bed since i reached home. swamped with work lately.. its ok, most of the time i'm consoling myself. to think of i'm supporting myself. aint it something worth mentioning? (:

i feel bad. when i know my time with vincent is shorten when days drew closer to 3June. and worst is when i'm working. seem that i'm neglecting him great time.. i'm consoled enough by him that he understands and stand on my side. he's so understanding. so suave in his actions.. (: a metaphor. :) simply. i love him. I'm stuck. in this lifetime with him. settled. peace~

seen so many childrens coming in and out of tuition center. so many little faces popping up the table asking "can i use the phone to call mummy?" melt on the spot.. the innocent and worry free days.. they still have 10 over yrs of education. and i'm out of it. in working force. though working is tough. but i'm enjoying. as in. kids and something i like.. working with people. :) yeah!

alright. shant go on. no energy. gotta hit the sacks soon. night babes and hunks and brownie!

2005-05-03T14:32:00.000+08:00

tomoro's joey birthday.. my tuition kid (: her 11th birthday... these few tuition.. she got a lot of scoldings from us. that's bad or good news?

posted to JE and handed over so much responsibility... *roLl eye* aint easy.. but can be done.. handling the keys make me panic..the alarm system can practically break me to cold sweat.. din know how to operate that and it sound the whole building.. sianx.. cold sweat.

so much codes to remember and stuffs... ah! can be done.

heard from liru that results will be out tonight? *shiverx* the whole 3 yrs of poly, coming to an end.. well... good resutls i'm anticipating.. (:

update soon. din have the mood to blog now... preparing joey's exam papers... hmmm...

oh.. charissa and chun.. i miss u.

2005-04-28T22:47:00.000+08:00

just when i thought the sales training will be another loomy sleepy kind of meeting.. Much to my utmost surprise, sean was really good in conveyin and the big boss as well.. chinese is too chim for me.. keke..no doubt, i learnt so much.. and its rather interesting or should i say: enriching?. and i swear! the contents are so ...aww.. enriching. i like where i am working.. keke.. seriously. (:

company's good. provide lunch for us. and its awesome! chicken rice? soon kueh? old char kee? and yesh! my fav JOLLYBEAN pancake.. yeah~ had a handsome taking on that. ops.. (: anyway, i am feelin satisfied today. GLUTTONY!

ok, i just read STCMB is the top fourth silver band. really not!?
maybe? hahaha, i'm sure they are much better than our blue ridge saga silver. (:
anyway, that was our year of Glory as well..

i miss band. i miss tuba. but i love horn. ?

2005-04-26T15:25:00.000+08:00

here i am blogging.. when i'm suppose to be working..
most of the people are doin their own stuffs too.. only 1 parent enquiring about our curriculum..

i had such a blessed weekend.. spent quality time with hubby, and i really enjoyed his presence so so much... just by lying on the bed, looking at stars, saying our dreams and future.. bliss isn't it? keke..

sure thing.. in less than 2 months time.. he'll be in army. and me.. gotta be independent..no doubt. i will be. (: already had in mind wad should my plan be when hubby is in camp.. hmmm.... yeah~ massive diet. hahahaha.. *as if*

hopefully the crowd will be here soon. keep me occupied.... *frownx*

2005-04-24T23:54:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my DARLING CHUNnie!

hey babe! its ur 21st. i knew u had celebration. had truckloads of fun.. and swamped with blessings from all of ur friends.. now, its turn for mine... u are one of my most treasured friends.. i swear, in this lifetime.. i will be keeping real close to me. i'm so fortunate to maaintain wad we have achieved so far.. we have gone through so much..

21. the year of adulthood.. i'm sure our Daddy up there, has plans for u to prosper in every area. no worries. cuz all are provided.. including ur rabbit. (: *ops* love u darling.. from the bottoms of my heart.

i love my grandpa.
i love my God.
i love Vincent.
i love my friends.
i love kids.
i love where i am now.
i love the way i am now.
i somehow miss programming. (:

a link.. hear it. a remix of all nice songs.. lyrics of different songs parts combined to a tanbulas song.. (:

here's the link.
remix song

enjoy~

2005-04-24T18:23:00.000+08:00

just visited my grandpa... he's really my cheerful pie.. upon seeing him. i really can sense the love he has for me.. its not that din get to experience this else where.. from my brownie... but.. grandpa's different... [ops.. some one is angry, and dun allow me to drink water] <- brownie!
anyway... my grandpa... is my man of God! (: he has always been.. and he is still.

having 2 days off! yeah, can accompany vincent before he sets in for army. ): sad. for job, i had been posted to Jurong in Maths Dept.. (: yup, i was right, in handling over 1200 students.. yeah~ not a small mountain...

shux. i din have any thing to blogged. yes, stucked in words.. bought 3 magazines since yesterday. well... waste money.

..::+*a MomeNt of ObsSesion*+::..

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..::+a MomeNt of ObsSesion+::..